Okay, I've just remembered a random embarassing moment story that all you pro-sex toy users can appreciate. It goes a little something like this:
I used to date this girl named Jess whose collection of sex toys rivals mine. In fact, it was really because of Jess that I became a purveyor of fine sex toys -- rarely a weekend went by that she didn't visit Toys In Babeland to buy their latest equipment.
Anyhow, Jess stored all of her sex toys and associated paraphenelia (strap-ons, buttplugs, vibrators, lube, baby wipes, etc.) in a good-size red backpack that I affectionately termed "The Magic Backpack." Wherever we went, the backpack came with us.
At the time, Jess lived in a house with her father, who was a Reverend and professor at a nearby Lutheran college. Jess' parents had been divorced for about a decade, promoted by her mother's decision to come out as a lesbian. Jess was rather "boi-ish" so there was no questioning her sexuality.
Jess and I were going away one weekend, and I met up with her at the house she shared with her father, and to my surprised, her father's fiance was spending the weekend. I was introduced to said fiance and sat with her and Jess' dad in the living room and chatted, while Jess went up to her room to retrieve the things she would need for our weekend away -- one of those things being the magic backpack.
Minutes later, Jess came bounding down the stairs and set down her bags. Immediately, the red backpack started buzzing -- and buzzing loudly. Clearly, Jess had not heeded the sage wisdom of sex toy owners nationwide and removed the batteries from her vibrator before storing. I knew I should've been embarassed, but instead, I was trying not to crack up ... and it was hard not to! Jess's dad and his fiance exchanged weird looks and the fiances asks, completely innocently, "What is that?"
Jess, trying to diffuse the situation, sweeps the red backpack over her shoulder and darts up the stairs, shouting, "I don't know, but I sure as hell am going to find out!"
Still suppressing my laughter, I just shrugged.
I used to date this girl named Jess whose collection of sex toys rivals mine. In fact, it was really because of Jess that I became a purveyor of fine sex toys -- rarely a weekend went by that she didn't visit Toys In Babeland to buy their latest equipment.
Anyhow, Jess stored all of her sex toys and associated paraphenelia (strap-ons, buttplugs, vibrators, lube, baby wipes, etc.) in a good-size red backpack that I affectionately termed "The Magic Backpack." Wherever we went, the backpack came with us.
At the time, Jess lived in a house with her father, who was a Reverend and professor at a nearby Lutheran college. Jess' parents had been divorced for about a decade, promoted by her mother's decision to come out as a lesbian. Jess was rather "boi-ish" so there was no questioning her sexuality.
Jess and I were going away one weekend, and I met up with her at the house she shared with her father, and to my surprised, her father's fiance was spending the weekend. I was introduced to said fiance and sat with her and Jess' dad in the living room and chatted, while Jess went up to her room to retrieve the things she would need for our weekend away -- one of those things being the magic backpack.
Minutes later, Jess came bounding down the stairs and set down her bags. Immediately, the red backpack started buzzing -- and buzzing loudly. Clearly, Jess had not heeded the sage wisdom of sex toy owners nationwide and removed the batteries from her vibrator before storing. I knew I should've been embarassed, but instead, I was trying not to crack up ... and it was hard not to! Jess's dad and his fiance exchanged weird looks and the fiances asks, completely innocently, "What is that?"
Jess, trying to diffuse the situation, sweeps the red backpack over her shoulder and darts up the stairs, shouting, "I don't know, but I sure as hell am going to find out!"
Still suppressing my laughter, I just shrugged.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
please don't feel like that
i was out of the water for 7 months when i restarted on july 1. my motivation: there was a form i had to fill out, 30 days later, that asked "state your exercise regimen for the past 30 days." i've been really good ever since then.
but the first 10 days are hard as ass. it does take 1-2 months to re-feel good in the water. and it always takes me about 150m (or 150yd) to not feel like an asshole in the water. once i get past the 150 point, i'm fine. where do you swim?
and let's discuss the difficulties/advantages of being swimmers with big boobs. blargh!
should i give all this info here? am i going to get pool stalkers? hey, what the fuck, that might be fun.