mistressminx

Ive spent my whole life feeling unattractive and unwanted. Ive never really had any close friends, just friends that are around more often than not. There are only two people on this planet who I think know me as well or better than myself: my first BF, Vince ; and my best friend.

An old friend of mine described himself as the broccoli of men you dont really want it unless its the last option. You know its good for you but

Thats how Im feeling right now. The broccoli of women.
I feel like Im last choice for everyone when it comes to romance. Yet I think that totally spoil the person Im with. Id do anything for my boy/girlfriend. (In fact Ive had my kindness trampled on more than once due to this)

Why is it so hard to find someone?
And Im not necessarily looking for forever Im just looking for some fun right now (and well see where things go).
Geez! This is ridiculous.

My thoughts keep going back to a friend from the bar that Ive had a crush on for a while. She has a new GF and I just found out that she has been single for the past while (which I didnt know). She said the best advice she could give me was to just wait and when you least expect it Mr/Ms Right will be right there for you. *sigh* So I guess its a matter of more waiting.

Now I didnt post this so I could get a bunch of pity-sympathy from yall. I dont need a whole bunch of I think you are a great person!s. Because I am fed up I dont need help with self-esteem. I think the kindest thing someone could tell me right now, if you want to leave words of kindness, is what you think of when you think of me. Both good and bad. Stuff like that always stays with me way longer than the complements. But by no means do I expect that either. I just know complements wont do anything for me right now.

Sorry for the long rant. I just needed to get this out of my system.

Take care all!