mistermainevent

It never ceases to amaze me how someone can go from feeling so strongly about something in particular to feeling nothing at all in the blink of an eye. Then again, perhaps it's not that the feelings have changed so drastically, but that the feelings were never actually there in the first place? It's something to ponder.

"you're not the other one..."

I seem to have allowed myself to become distracted, to get caught up in petty little things that I should have learned a long time ago to ignore. Not only have I not made any progress in achieving certain goals that I had set for myself, I actually feel as though I've regressed, that I've put more obstacles in my way, simply because of my inability to maintain focus and concentrate on the bigger picture. I don't know that I can recall the last time I did something productive, something I was proud of, that was NOT related to my job. And to a certain degree, that makes me ashamed of myself.

"you're just another...."

I should be writing. I should be out with a camera and a group of people eager to create something. I should be on stage in front of a crowd. I should be doing something, ANYTHING, other than this.

I should not be surviving on soda and frozen pizza. I should not be wasting time in front of the computer or the television. I should not allow my emotional state of mind to be influenced by shallow, thoughtless people that refuse to treat me with any level of respect or dignity.

"another hobby for a guy like me..."

I am better than what I've allowed myself to be. And it's time for a change.