Christ on a cracker. I've been REALLY bad about forgetting to cross-post my blogs. Not that it matters, i suppose. I think Vivid is the only reader i have on this site.
Sorry, doll. I'll do better. Starting now.
Alright kids. Let me break it down for you, with the first official entry of 2008.
*drumroll*
Oh fuck it. Let's be honest - nothing i'm going to say is dramatic or important enough to necessitate a drumroll. And really, a drumroll is only effective at a lie event, where there are enough people present that you can justify the use of a microphone in speaking to them, thus pretty much guaranteeing that you're the center of attention while the drumroll is in effect, culminating in some sort of announcement or award being given or some other such nonsense.
In this case, this is most certainly NOT a live event or an awards ceremony - this is a fucking blog entry that will only be read by a handful of people, and almost assuredly not at the same time, so do we really need a fucking drumroll? Not at all.
Moving on...
2007 has come and gone, which i'm sure probably comes as a hefty shock to many of you. No doubt some of you are still attempting to stumble out of the haze caused by too much celebration on Monday night, and you might not even know what day it is. And if that's the case - fuck you, i'm jealous. I had to work at 8:00 on the 1st and thus had to be responsible and professional and not have nearly as much fun as the year before.
That's not to say that fun wasn't had, of course - on the contrary, the few hours i got to spend amongst friends was certainly worth venturing out of my little hermit's cave. It's hard NOT to enjoy watching a set of balls being placed lovingly into the outstretched hand of some douchebag who made the mistake of getting on everyone's nerves and then passing out WAY too early. And even more laugh-inducing were the penises (or should that be penii?) that were dangled precariously above the poor sap's face for the sake of a good photograph.
Although i must admit to being very, very sad at having missed the incident involving Andy, the chair, and the roll of duct tape.
About this time last year, i wrote about working on two film projects, both of which i had endeavored to write and shoot over the course of the year. Guess what happened with that? If you guessed "diddly shit" then congratufuckinglations, you win. The lack of any sort of film equipment was a pretty big hurdle to overcome. And let's not forget my inability to focus on one single thing long enough to ever see it through to completion. Rather than finish writing the projects i was working on and begin fine-tuning them, i tossed them on the back burner and began writing even more projects which, like the previous ones that had been discarded, were doomed to be abandoned when yet ANOTHER idea struck me and i decided to pursue that one in lieu of all the others.
A vicious cycle, it is. Was. Whatever. I vow for things to be different this time around. I won't guarantee that i'll have my masterpiece filmed, edited, scored and distributed this year. But i most certainly WILL have put SOMETHING on film before 2009 arrives. I don't care if it's a commercial, a music video, a public service announcement, or a porno - i'll not let another year go by without at least taking a few baby steps toward doing something that i've talked about doing for half my life.
Also in store for this year - i'm determined to get (and keep) control of my fucking weight. I lost nearly forty pounds last year, only to gain it all back, lose part of it again, and then regain it one more goddamn time. I'm starting a new diet and workout regimen on Monday, and even if it makes me an angry, bitter, intolerable bastard (which it almost certainly will), i'm going to stick with it, instead of giving up after a few weeks like i always seem to do.
Rather than undergo several drastic changes all at once, i figured it would make more sense to do it gradually. So, over the past month, i've managed to almost completely cut out soda (except when drinking - gotta have my rum and Coke), and eliminate the daily trips to McDonald's (or Wendy's, Taco Bell, Burger King, etc). I've probably eaten fast food three times in the past month, which is a vast improvement over doing it twice a day, every day. So, armed with my expensive-but-ridiculously-comfortable running shoes, my diet shakes, and my three-times-a-week workout plan, i'm ready to fire the first shot in the War Against My Fat Ass and Protruding Gut.
At least i've got a sense of humor about it, right?
Okay. It's 1:30. I think this larger-than-normal entry is an excellent way to start off another year's worth of blogging, don't you? If not, perhaps you'd enjoy a sandwich made of watery ejaculate placed between two pieces of wood?
Sorry, doll. I'll do better. Starting now.
Alright kids. Let me break it down for you, with the first official entry of 2008.
*drumroll*
Oh fuck it. Let's be honest - nothing i'm going to say is dramatic or important enough to necessitate a drumroll. And really, a drumroll is only effective at a lie event, where there are enough people present that you can justify the use of a microphone in speaking to them, thus pretty much guaranteeing that you're the center of attention while the drumroll is in effect, culminating in some sort of announcement or award being given or some other such nonsense.
In this case, this is most certainly NOT a live event or an awards ceremony - this is a fucking blog entry that will only be read by a handful of people, and almost assuredly not at the same time, so do we really need a fucking drumroll? Not at all.
Moving on...
2007 has come and gone, which i'm sure probably comes as a hefty shock to many of you. No doubt some of you are still attempting to stumble out of the haze caused by too much celebration on Monday night, and you might not even know what day it is. And if that's the case - fuck you, i'm jealous. I had to work at 8:00 on the 1st and thus had to be responsible and professional and not have nearly as much fun as the year before.
That's not to say that fun wasn't had, of course - on the contrary, the few hours i got to spend amongst friends was certainly worth venturing out of my little hermit's cave. It's hard NOT to enjoy watching a set of balls being placed lovingly into the outstretched hand of some douchebag who made the mistake of getting on everyone's nerves and then passing out WAY too early. And even more laugh-inducing were the penises (or should that be penii?) that were dangled precariously above the poor sap's face for the sake of a good photograph.
Although i must admit to being very, very sad at having missed the incident involving Andy, the chair, and the roll of duct tape.
About this time last year, i wrote about working on two film projects, both of which i had endeavored to write and shoot over the course of the year. Guess what happened with that? If you guessed "diddly shit" then congratufuckinglations, you win. The lack of any sort of film equipment was a pretty big hurdle to overcome. And let's not forget my inability to focus on one single thing long enough to ever see it through to completion. Rather than finish writing the projects i was working on and begin fine-tuning them, i tossed them on the back burner and began writing even more projects which, like the previous ones that had been discarded, were doomed to be abandoned when yet ANOTHER idea struck me and i decided to pursue that one in lieu of all the others.
A vicious cycle, it is. Was. Whatever. I vow for things to be different this time around. I won't guarantee that i'll have my masterpiece filmed, edited, scored and distributed this year. But i most certainly WILL have put SOMETHING on film before 2009 arrives. I don't care if it's a commercial, a music video, a public service announcement, or a porno - i'll not let another year go by without at least taking a few baby steps toward doing something that i've talked about doing for half my life.
Also in store for this year - i'm determined to get (and keep) control of my fucking weight. I lost nearly forty pounds last year, only to gain it all back, lose part of it again, and then regain it one more goddamn time. I'm starting a new diet and workout regimen on Monday, and even if it makes me an angry, bitter, intolerable bastard (which it almost certainly will), i'm going to stick with it, instead of giving up after a few weeks like i always seem to do.
Rather than undergo several drastic changes all at once, i figured it would make more sense to do it gradually. So, over the past month, i've managed to almost completely cut out soda (except when drinking - gotta have my rum and Coke), and eliminate the daily trips to McDonald's (or Wendy's, Taco Bell, Burger King, etc). I've probably eaten fast food three times in the past month, which is a vast improvement over doing it twice a day, every day. So, armed with my expensive-but-ridiculously-comfortable running shoes, my diet shakes, and my three-times-a-week workout plan, i'm ready to fire the first shot in the War Against My Fat Ass and Protruding Gut.
At least i've got a sense of humor about it, right?
Okay. It's 1:30. I think this larger-than-normal entry is an excellent way to start off another year's worth of blogging, don't you? If not, perhaps you'd enjoy a sandwich made of watery ejaculate placed between two pieces of wood?
vivid:
Thank you~