misterjesus

Ok I just had the most bizzare conversation of my adult life with my mother, before I tell you what it was you need some background.


1. MisterJesus is divorced and has been for four years now

2. MisterJesus is a day to day corporate wage slave for a large IT corp.

3. MisterJesus is absolutly nothing special.

4. MisterJesus is a lonley guy, sorry but it's true.

5. MisterJesus has no time for his family, they don't like him and he does not like them

So here goes the conversation

Ring Ring,

me: Hello
mom: Hi I have not heard from you in a while and I thought I would call
me: ok
mom: don't you have anything better to say?
me: no
mom: Your brother passed his degree you know, and he is moving to London
me: well good for him
mom: Why are you so anit-social?
me: because I hate you all
mom: Well that's just grand I bother to call you and all you can do is be negative to me.
me: yes
mom: You know what your problem is?
me: Let me guess
mom: No, your problem is that your fat, your unhappy because your fat, and look at you. what do you think you look like with all those tattoos and your hair bleached and that silly beard.
me: for god's sake mom I think I am old enough to make choices about how I look myself now
mom: What kind of woman would want to be with you? that's why you are so angey
me: Have you forgotten that I was married, therefore at some point some woman did want to be with me, besides I don't NEED external validation
mom: and what is that supposed to mean? don't try to confuse me with big words
me: Mom, have you been drinking bong water?
mom: What? what does that mean?
me: Your insane mother, you always have been and you always will be everything I do or don;t do you blame on my weight, for gods sake move on there are otehr things in life.
mom: How can you expect to meet somebody looking the way you do and with that attitude
me: Well I would hope that if I do find somebody they are somebody that likes me for the way I am and not try to make me be something else.
mom: Are you gay?
me: Mom I'm hanging up now because this conversation is just too weird.
mom: Well ok, but you should call your brothers nobody knows what you are doing these days.
me: good that's just the way I like it.

- click

I just can't handle my family sometimes. I really can't.

Right well I'm off now to go and boil my head or something.

have a nice wekend everybody.