Before I get into my narrative, it's important for me to say that good mental health is extremely important. It should be your top priority, because it affects all other areas of your life. If you are struggling with mental/psychological illness and don't know what to do or who to turn to, please call my friends over at NAMI at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264).
Here is a story of a frightening experience I had with a former best friend. She and I met on the college campus. We were the best of friends. We would help with each other's projects, go out to dinners once in a while, and even enjoyed the occasional cuddling together. There was never anything romantic between us- just two best friends enjoying each other's company.
About a month ago, shortly after I got my job offer in Arizona and started a relationship with the love of my life, this best friend called me up. "I know what you did," she insisted. "I can never trust you again. Don't ever go behind my back like that again." I was shocked. This did not sound like her at all! And I never did anything behind her back; I never would, and even if so, I never had any reason to. This went on for a few days. She then called me and apologized for acting strange. She told me that someone who she considered a best friend betrayed her trust many years ago, and somehow something caused her to feel like I was doing the same thing to her. She realized that couldn't be the case, and we reconciled.
About a week later, I got another call from her. She was clearly not well. For nearly 6 hours, she went from talking about some mystery person going behind her back to complete nonsense to threatening to send emails to her project teammates and professor demanding compensation for some alleged mistreatment, which later turned out to be completely in her head. For days following this, I told her to get help, but she wouldn't listen. She instead called me a jerk, among other names. Finally a week later, she apologized and asked if she had hurt me. I honestly answered yes, leading to her having a guilty conscience. She refused to forgive herself despite me reassuring her that I had forgiven her. I tried to convince her that it was not her doing this, but some kind of triggered psychological condition, but she would not take that seriously.
This past week, she called me again. She started confusing me with her school project's sponsor. She asked me questions about his company and his colleagues that were completely out of place. I then started getting messages from her. "I know he was there with you," she said. "How many messages were from you, and how many were from him?" In her mind, she was convinced that I was colluding with her college project's sponsor. Finally, I met with her one last time for coffee. She would not stop accusing me of conspiring with her sponsor, even though I had never met him. Finally, I told her that we need to go our separate ways; that I was somehow triggering some delusions in her head that she was convinced was reality. I had no idea what to do for her, so I decided that because I was somehow the source of her mental unwellness, that I had to remove myself from her life entirely to give her room to heal.
I had never experienced anything like this with anyone before. It reminded me that mental and psychological health is so important; more important than career goals or anything else. Poor mental health can negatively affect relationships and can cause irreparable harm to oneself. I implore you, if you feel that you are not well mentally/psychologically, or if a friend points out that you are not well or need to seek help, please seek help! Whatever you are going through, you are not alone in your struggle. Please look after your mental health; make it a top priority. And if you are stuck and don't know what to do or who to turn to, you can call the NAMI hotline at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264). Thank you, take care, and be well.