missvicious

You know how there's that one person your gonna love, for the rest of your life? Yea I got that, the thing is, my guy [I'll call him M *nods to bond*] tried to commit suicide in the beginning of the month. Before Jim and I got together, M and I were in a relationship. We have known each other for almost 10 years, his mother is my god mother, and The whole thing went to shit when he flipped out over me trying to help him out with his drug problem. Then I met Jim, and M and I ended up not talking anymore [because of the drugs]. Then I found out about his attempts last week, and well we started hanging out. *its only been twice*. It confuses me, seeing him again, because all the old feelings come into play simply because we never had closure. So when We talked about it, he admitted that he still cared for me. As you can see, or well read, my minds been in a bit of a funk.

I love Jim, he's good to me, he loves me, he treats me ok. But like any relationship we have our problems. I have to wonder, if maybe I do need to be alone for a while, because since I was 14 I have been in a relationship and I cant remember being out of one for more then a few weeks. that's not good, Don't get me wrong, I've learned to be self reliant, but I have always relied on the other person in my life.

I hate this shit