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missvicious

Huntington Beach

Hopeful Since 2009

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Tuesday Jan 12, 2010

Jan 11, 2010
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I think one of the greatest ting about being on this site, other then the obvious, is the fact that other then you lovely readers, no one in my life will actually read this. Its like an interactive journal, with awesome naked women.

If you were to ask me how I felt about moving out, well I wouldn't lie. I'm excited, giddy even, but I'm also terrified.

I had moved out in 2007 with my now ex, josh. We had lived in MN for about 7 months before I decided the cold wasn't for this cali girl, so we moved out her. Within a month, when left me for a chick back home, on my bday no less. So I moved into a much smaller apartment, an lived on my own for a good while. Then one of my buddies from hs got in touch with me an we talked, and then dated, he was in the army so seeing him was next to impossible, but we made it work. When he was home on leave he'd stay with me... problem was we would constantly fight and I would leave to do something and return to him just messing with the comp. Each trip home he left things in my place, he practically lived their. We ended up splitting last jan.

My current bf, j, am I got together on the terms that their were no strings attached, it was simply sex. For me, it turned into something more a lot faster then it did for him. So much different that it took him 8 months an another guy interested in my to make him realize that he felt something for me. He finally told me he loved me a few days after xmas.

For him, it seems emotions other then being content an ok aren't in his vocab. For me they are. He thinks with his head an I think with my heart. That's a bit of a problem.... its what causes most of our fights because he doesn't realize how something might make me feel an I feel stupid for being so damn emotional.

I'm so terrified that he's just gonna get up an leave, that I don't honestly know what to do. I know talking about it doesn't work. He rarely talks to me about his emotions unless I pry it out of him. I know he's just. gonna think I'm silly or something to that extent. I just feel like he's still holding a part of himself from me, like he's afraid to get hurt to. Don't get me wrong he has his moment, it just takes a lot of talking on my part to get him to actually tell me the whole thing. I guess it just takes some time, an I have a whole lot of that
djnick:
Well, you're not the one who's being stupid!
Jan 13, 2010

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