missvicious

I had never actually realized how grown up I am. To me, I still feel like I have a whole bunch of growing up to actually do, but to someone younger then me.. I am their future so to speak. I was sitting down at my sisters kitchen table, just balancing my check book and all of a sudden my sisters eldest child (she's 15) came up to me with a look i couldn't quite place. It took me a moment or so to realize that she was in awe of me. That fact alone scares me, to the point where I don't really wanna wrap my mind around it. We were talking for a bit, about school, work, my new apartment, when my second thought occurred to me. Everything I tell her, effects her actual out come in life. Everything i tell her about the bad in the world and the good in the world actually shape how she views things. How does one actually cope with that? Is that what mothers feel when their children are asking them questions?

There's a lot to process, and personally thats shitty!