Do you ever feel completely jaded by technology? I don't know if it's the advancement of things or the lack of initiative in people.
It feels like with communication moving forward with more and more ease we would stay in touch more often. I think it's going the other way. The easier it becomes to communicate, the less interested we are in doing so. It upsets me so greatly that my "friends" never call unless they want something. I'm not excluding myself from this, I do neglect catching up at some points, but I try really hard to make it a point to keep in touch with everyone that is important.
I don't know if it's that with all the new flashy gadgets around we get distracted, or if with things becoming easier to do, we become a little more lazy. Whatever it is I hate it. I yearn for the deep connection with people and it doesn't exist very often. People think I'm crazy for caring more than I should.
My roommate told me this weekend that is why guys are uninterested in me. I do what I feel when I feel it and nothing really holds me back. I'm not scared of talking about things or looking you in the eye. So many people have a shield that no one is suppose to get past. That's the first thing I go for. I scare people off with my creepy style of getting to know you. I use to feel bad for doing this. I would try to have vague conversation about the latest episode of Lost. I just can't do it. People are so precious and individualistic that I have to KNOW you.
All of this comes together after I went to a psychic convention this weekend. I sat with a lady for almost an hour as she explained to me how I am and how a lot of people will not understand me. It was very hard to absorb. Everyone wants their happily ever after tale. All I got was a life of hard situations and few real relationships due to certain characteristics in my genetics. I'm not saying the whole thing was terrible, I guess you have to take the bad with the good. I think what made it so numbing is the fact that I base myself on relationships. I love people, being around them, knowing them, helping them, loving them, doing anything I can for them. To go even further, I don't really know any of you that read this but I care so much. I read your posts, I pray for you, I wonder how your situations turn out. Is that creepy? Hahaha.
I did learn a lot about myself and what I need to be doing with my life. Small glimpses of your life's path definitely helps set things into perspective. I know what is important and what to brush off. It was like a breath of fresh air.
It feels like with communication moving forward with more and more ease we would stay in touch more often. I think it's going the other way. The easier it becomes to communicate, the less interested we are in doing so. It upsets me so greatly that my "friends" never call unless they want something. I'm not excluding myself from this, I do neglect catching up at some points, but I try really hard to make it a point to keep in touch with everyone that is important.
I don't know if it's that with all the new flashy gadgets around we get distracted, or if with things becoming easier to do, we become a little more lazy. Whatever it is I hate it. I yearn for the deep connection with people and it doesn't exist very often. People think I'm crazy for caring more than I should.
My roommate told me this weekend that is why guys are uninterested in me. I do what I feel when I feel it and nothing really holds me back. I'm not scared of talking about things or looking you in the eye. So many people have a shield that no one is suppose to get past. That's the first thing I go for. I scare people off with my creepy style of getting to know you. I use to feel bad for doing this. I would try to have vague conversation about the latest episode of Lost. I just can't do it. People are so precious and individualistic that I have to KNOW you.
All of this comes together after I went to a psychic convention this weekend. I sat with a lady for almost an hour as she explained to me how I am and how a lot of people will not understand me. It was very hard to absorb. Everyone wants their happily ever after tale. All I got was a life of hard situations and few real relationships due to certain characteristics in my genetics. I'm not saying the whole thing was terrible, I guess you have to take the bad with the good. I think what made it so numbing is the fact that I base myself on relationships. I love people, being around them, knowing them, helping them, loving them, doing anything I can for them. To go even further, I don't really know any of you that read this but I care so much. I read your posts, I pray for you, I wonder how your situations turn out. Is that creepy? Hahaha.
I did learn a lot about myself and what I need to be doing with my life. Small glimpses of your life's path definitely helps set things into perspective. I know what is important and what to brush off. It was like a breath of fresh air.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
murderthisghost:
actually the first time you called you made fun of my voice mail....the second time i called and you were with a friend....and then we sent texts for a while and i called and we talked for a good length of time
jay_blank:
I will tickle you until you pee. Then you'll have to spend the rest of the trip in your own funk. Ha!