Current happenings!
Ok so, life is crazy. A few weeks ago I kissed my ex's best friend, I will fully admit that I am a complete bitch and totally did it to piss him (my ex) off. However, I have liked this boy since meeting my ex really... and god this is now so hard for me. The person in question lets call him M, well M thought it would be too weird a situation so stopped it in its tracks. At the same time he explained to my ex what happened, well it was in a local bar and most of my ex's friends seem to have seen or heard of the incident. Yeah I'm not just talking a little kiss, it went on for hourrrsss in the pouring rain and was awesome.
I really like M.
I don't want a relationship, I just want some one to have fun with and piss about without getting hurt. I'm trying to tell myself that as soon as I find someone else to fool about with all this will go away, I just don't know. Christ.
I do really like him, we have epic conversations, we click and currently we are going through similar situations so we rant to each other. Why did he have to have a conscience? Why did I seem to pick people with really good morals (ex excepting that rule)? BLECH
To add more misery to the situation when my ex heard of the situation he decided that omg... HE STILL LOVES ME. What the hell is wrong with this boy? I wanted to seriously beat him up or something. He went and got a 17 year old girlfriend... some young girl who he's deceiving and is really going to hurt. He sends me these texts telling me how I'm his spark, how he cant live without me, I was doing JUST FINE! Now not so much. I cant find the strength to just tell him straight that we don't work (underline that 3 times.) It's so easy to think of all the good, and in these situations the bad seems to fade away doesn't it? Well not for me, I still remember and always will how shit he treated me, and I guess right now how bad I'm treating him.
I hope he moves on, I don't want this anymore. My plan right now is for a month to start distancing myself and be quite harsh, then sit him down and explain face to face that I don't want him, I don't want us. I know what unrequited love feels like, its the most horrible thing ever, I feel sick to my stomach that I'm doing this to someone.
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I've had a really cool few days though, my friend from Sweden came to visit and she's fucking awesome. She gave me retro hair, and I did my makeup and I don't think I've felt so pretty in my whole life. Even M really loved it! I'm going to see her next summer in Sweden and M is planning to come too!
So onto pictures (more in my album <3), and if anyone reads all this, they totally deserve a cookie.
Ok so, life is crazy. A few weeks ago I kissed my ex's best friend, I will fully admit that I am a complete bitch and totally did it to piss him (my ex) off. However, I have liked this boy since meeting my ex really... and god this is now so hard for me. The person in question lets call him M, well M thought it would be too weird a situation so stopped it in its tracks. At the same time he explained to my ex what happened, well it was in a local bar and most of my ex's friends seem to have seen or heard of the incident. Yeah I'm not just talking a little kiss, it went on for hourrrsss in the pouring rain and was awesome.
I really like M.
I don't want a relationship, I just want some one to have fun with and piss about without getting hurt. I'm trying to tell myself that as soon as I find someone else to fool about with all this will go away, I just don't know. Christ.
I do really like him, we have epic conversations, we click and currently we are going through similar situations so we rant to each other. Why did he have to have a conscience? Why did I seem to pick people with really good morals (ex excepting that rule)? BLECH
To add more misery to the situation when my ex heard of the situation he decided that omg... HE STILL LOVES ME. What the hell is wrong with this boy? I wanted to seriously beat him up or something. He went and got a 17 year old girlfriend... some young girl who he's deceiving and is really going to hurt. He sends me these texts telling me how I'm his spark, how he cant live without me, I was doing JUST FINE! Now not so much. I cant find the strength to just tell him straight that we don't work (underline that 3 times.) It's so easy to think of all the good, and in these situations the bad seems to fade away doesn't it? Well not for me, I still remember and always will how shit he treated me, and I guess right now how bad I'm treating him.
I hope he moves on, I don't want this anymore. My plan right now is for a month to start distancing myself and be quite harsh, then sit him down and explain face to face that I don't want him, I don't want us. I know what unrequited love feels like, its the most horrible thing ever, I feel sick to my stomach that I'm doing this to someone.
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I've had a really cool few days though, my friend from Sweden came to visit and she's fucking awesome. She gave me retro hair, and I did my makeup and I don't think I've felt so pretty in my whole life. Even M really loved it! I'm going to see her next summer in Sweden and M is planning to come too!
So onto pictures (more in my album <3), and if anyone reads all this, they totally deserve a cookie.
I hope this man situation sorts itself out for you. I know what it feels like!