missmontana

You are aware of all the diets out there, but what about the "Sex Diet"?

It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until
now no one had made a scientific study of the caloric requirements of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research,
the results are in:

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent.................................12 Calories
Without her consent.....................2,187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA: With both hands.....................................8 Calories With one hand.......................................12 Calories
With your teeth.................................485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection...................................6 Calories

Without an erection....................3,315 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary............................................12 Calories
69 lying down.....................................78 Calories
69 standing up..................................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow....................................216 Calories
Doggy style.......................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier.......................2,912 Calories

ORGASMS: Real......................................................112 Calories
Fake.................................................1,315 Calories

POST ORGASM:

Lying in bed hugging......................18 Calories
Getting up immediately.................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.....................816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are: 20-29 years......................................36 Calories
30-39 years......................................80 Calories
40-49 years.....................................124 Calories
50-59 years................................1,972 Calories
60-69 years................................7,916 Calories
70 and over.................................Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.................................................32 Calories
In a hurry.........................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the
door................................5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door..............................13,521
Calories

Results may vary.



Now that is a diet i can live with.....

xoxo
w