Sooooo... I just changed my relationship status on here to 'Exclusive Relationship'. Let's hope that doesn't jinx it... or me saying 'jinx' doesn't jinx it... DAMN IT!!
More & more at work I'm finding I'm identifying less & less with Australians. From the bartenders side of the bar there is an unfortunate amount of rude cunts out there. When you come up to the bar & someone says 'hey, how's it doing?' the polite thing to do would at least acknowledge that person's existence, not go straight into your crap drink order of 3 rum & cokes & a 'Savvy'. It's amazing how people act when they don't realise that we hold the alcohol & we DON'T have to give it to you. If you're a rude cunt, I can, have and will cut you off. I will get you kicked out & I will make sure your night is crap. All you have to do is be polite, have your money ready & know what the fuck you want. The reason I say 'Australians' here is because the Irish, the Americans, hell, even the French (who are notoriously arrogant here aside from a few) are polite, know what they want, can see we're busy & wait patiently & say 'thank-you' in the end. A bar full of Australians = bad craic. Hands down.
For your reading pleasure: How to order a drink!!
a) Before you walk up to the bar DECIDE whether you want a drink or not. Then, decide WHAT you want to drink. I really don't want to stand there & watch the play of emotions go over your face as you figure out if your thirsty then whether you're thirsty for coke or lemonade in your vodka. Just quietly, if you don't order in 5 seconds & start saying 'um' alot, I'm walking away.
b) Walk TO the bar. Don't stand a metre back & get all angry that you weren't served earlier. How the fuck are we supposed to know you want a drink? You could just be waiting for someone. Next time I go to whatever fast food outlet you work at I'm gonna stand at the back of the room & shout my order. If I don't get it in 2 mins I'm gonna get all uppity & shit like you care.
c) HAVE YOUR MONEY READY. If you've already decided you want a drink then you have to know it's going to cost MONEY. Money should be in your hand OR your wallet, which should also be in your hand. Nothing is more infuriating than having a busy bar & some bitch orders then fishes around in her bag for 15 fucking minutes. WORSE if they have their wallet in their hand but looking for change to 'get rid of', then abandon that & take out a $50 note from the purse in their hand. Oh my fucking god. On the other end of the spectrum: MAKE SURE YOU HAVE MONEY. I don't work for a charity & half the price ISN'T going to cut it. Yes, I am going to take your drinks back & tell you to go get money out. Yes, I did see that dirty look you gave me but in the end if I really wanted I could down your drinks in front of you & get you kicked out. How would you like THEM apples?
d) Give me your money/take the god-damned change. I don't care if someone behind you has something to say, nothing is more important than paying the person providing you with alcohol. Give me the money & take the change. I will snatch it out of your hand/dump the change on the counter in front of you if you're too busy to give me the time of day to provide me with currency for my service.
e) Fuck off. I'm not giving you my number.
Don't get me wrong, I love my job & I love getting people hammered but I also love having a smooth night. The above? Happens at least 50 times a night.
/rant
More & more at work I'm finding I'm identifying less & less with Australians. From the bartenders side of the bar there is an unfortunate amount of rude cunts out there. When you come up to the bar & someone says 'hey, how's it doing?' the polite thing to do would at least acknowledge that person's existence, not go straight into your crap drink order of 3 rum & cokes & a 'Savvy'. It's amazing how people act when they don't realise that we hold the alcohol & we DON'T have to give it to you. If you're a rude cunt, I can, have and will cut you off. I will get you kicked out & I will make sure your night is crap. All you have to do is be polite, have your money ready & know what the fuck you want. The reason I say 'Australians' here is because the Irish, the Americans, hell, even the French (who are notoriously arrogant here aside from a few) are polite, know what they want, can see we're busy & wait patiently & say 'thank-you' in the end. A bar full of Australians = bad craic. Hands down.
For your reading pleasure: How to order a drink!!
a) Before you walk up to the bar DECIDE whether you want a drink or not. Then, decide WHAT you want to drink. I really don't want to stand there & watch the play of emotions go over your face as you figure out if your thirsty then whether you're thirsty for coke or lemonade in your vodka. Just quietly, if you don't order in 5 seconds & start saying 'um' alot, I'm walking away.
b) Walk TO the bar. Don't stand a metre back & get all angry that you weren't served earlier. How the fuck are we supposed to know you want a drink? You could just be waiting for someone. Next time I go to whatever fast food outlet you work at I'm gonna stand at the back of the room & shout my order. If I don't get it in 2 mins I'm gonna get all uppity & shit like you care.
c) HAVE YOUR MONEY READY. If you've already decided you want a drink then you have to know it's going to cost MONEY. Money should be in your hand OR your wallet, which should also be in your hand. Nothing is more infuriating than having a busy bar & some bitch orders then fishes around in her bag for 15 fucking minutes. WORSE if they have their wallet in their hand but looking for change to 'get rid of', then abandon that & take out a $50 note from the purse in their hand. Oh my fucking god. On the other end of the spectrum: MAKE SURE YOU HAVE MONEY. I don't work for a charity & half the price ISN'T going to cut it. Yes, I am going to take your drinks back & tell you to go get money out. Yes, I did see that dirty look you gave me but in the end if I really wanted I could down your drinks in front of you & get you kicked out. How would you like THEM apples?
d) Give me your money/take the god-damned change. I don't care if someone behind you has something to say, nothing is more important than paying the person providing you with alcohol. Give me the money & take the change. I will snatch it out of your hand/dump the change on the counter in front of you if you're too busy to give me the time of day to provide me with currency for my service.
e) Fuck off. I'm not giving you my number.
Don't get me wrong, I love my job & I love getting people hammered but I also love having a smooth night. The above? Happens at least 50 times a night.
/rant
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Most of your rant also applies to people in clothingstores btw.
I really don't care if you THINK the label said 15. The label says 29,95, pay up or leave!!!
And honestly, while I'm folding your clothes, don't just look at me fold your clothes, GET YOUR FUCKING WALLET READY!!!!
okay. that was my rant..
as you were.