I fucking hate it when it's so nice outside and I have to work!!! I don't know why I didn't just call in sick. I got there, and they sent us home 3 hours later!!!! I could have spent those 3 hours with my friend Susan before she went back home and left me home alone with a house full of testosterone.
I'm really getting sick of some of the shit that goes on in my house.
Example number 1: When Germaine's friends come by... they don't say shit to me... not a "hello... how are ya... nice weather" NADDA! However... If RONNIE is in the room, and Germaine's friends come in the house they're like "hey dude, whats up?" I think it's fucking RUDE for them to completely ignore me, but talk to Ronnie because he has a fucking dick.
Example number 2: Today my roommates (brothers) were pissed for whatever reason... I was in the next room and heard Germaine say "god, how hard is it to wash a dish?"... Sure, we just ate, I was waiting for Susan's ride to come in.. Sorry for not jumping to it cap'n perfect!!! BUT!!!! I would like to add... he had the nerve to say that, after I spent an hour cleaning the ENTIRE kitchen yesterday (including his shit) AND!!!!!!!!!! The ONLY thing I left out on the counter, was his dirty pots from TWO FUCKING WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!! I REFUSE to wash them because A) aint my shit and B) it was ROTTEN and I shouldn't have to do it. So, he had the fucking balls to say 'wash a dish that was JUST dirtied'......... WHILE HE LOOKED AT HIS FUCKING DIRTY ROTTEN MESS!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, got on my last nerve.
I'm rotted. I'm in the worst mood right now thinking about it.
To top it off, after work... I didn't want to be home to face (obvious) irritations... So I thought, well, I'll hang out with Ronnie and his friends... put forth the effort to do something with them because although I might not like watching them play video games. it will show I'm not anti-social. I really don't like feeling like myself and my boyfriend have two separate lives you know? Its like... we should be able to do stuff with other people, but together! I agree, you need to do stuff alone and be individuals, but we have NO PROB doing that!
Anyway, off track... I go there, watch them play games. try and be included and contribute to convos as much as I can... and Ronnie's friend gets a call saying they wanted to go play "spotlight". The ONE TIME I choose to hang out with Ronnie and his friends............ they want to go outside, where there are a fuck load of bugs that eat me alive (yes, still a city girl at heart) WHEN I'M IN A SKIRT AND FLATS!!! No... not gonna happen. And that's not the first time I've tried to hang out with them and something unexpected came up that I wasn't 'feelin'
Maybe I'm being a prissy lil girl who wants to get there way... but I have a fucking social anxiety problem. I can't be placed in "unpredictable environments" because I feel like I have no where to run. No where to hide. And I feel like I'm put under a microscope from all these strangers, talking shit about me or poking fun. I get VERY uncomfortable in situations such as "games" because I feel like if I were to like... trip when I was running after someone, that I would break down and cry.
So I give up. I'm never hanging out with his friends again. I'm not going to put forth the effort. I'm not going to put myself out there in front of everyone to laugh at me. I just can't do it. I won't do it. And I'm putting my foot down. If Ronnie really wanted to include me in HIS LIFE with HIS FRIENDS, then he would bring them over to OUR house... where I feel safe.
I feel really left out right now. And kind of foolish. My face is beat red with embarrassment for no good reason, other than than the fact that Ronnie's friends probably think I'm a panzy for not wanting to play a game with them. I feel like I just can't win.
I'm really getting sick of some of the shit that goes on in my house.
Example number 1: When Germaine's friends come by... they don't say shit to me... not a "hello... how are ya... nice weather" NADDA! However... If RONNIE is in the room, and Germaine's friends come in the house they're like "hey dude, whats up?" I think it's fucking RUDE for them to completely ignore me, but talk to Ronnie because he has a fucking dick.
Example number 2: Today my roommates (brothers) were pissed for whatever reason... I was in the next room and heard Germaine say "god, how hard is it to wash a dish?"... Sure, we just ate, I was waiting for Susan's ride to come in.. Sorry for not jumping to it cap'n perfect!!! BUT!!!! I would like to add... he had the nerve to say that, after I spent an hour cleaning the ENTIRE kitchen yesterday (including his shit) AND!!!!!!!!!! The ONLY thing I left out on the counter, was his dirty pots from TWO FUCKING WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!! I REFUSE to wash them because A) aint my shit and B) it was ROTTEN and I shouldn't have to do it. So, he had the fucking balls to say 'wash a dish that was JUST dirtied'......... WHILE HE LOOKED AT HIS FUCKING DIRTY ROTTEN MESS!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, got on my last nerve.
I'm rotted. I'm in the worst mood right now thinking about it.
To top it off, after work... I didn't want to be home to face (obvious) irritations... So I thought, well, I'll hang out with Ronnie and his friends... put forth the effort to do something with them because although I might not like watching them play video games. it will show I'm not anti-social. I really don't like feeling like myself and my boyfriend have two separate lives you know? Its like... we should be able to do stuff with other people, but together! I agree, you need to do stuff alone and be individuals, but we have NO PROB doing that!
Anyway, off track... I go there, watch them play games. try and be included and contribute to convos as much as I can... and Ronnie's friend gets a call saying they wanted to go play "spotlight". The ONE TIME I choose to hang out with Ronnie and his friends............ they want to go outside, where there are a fuck load of bugs that eat me alive (yes, still a city girl at heart) WHEN I'M IN A SKIRT AND FLATS!!! No... not gonna happen. And that's not the first time I've tried to hang out with them and something unexpected came up that I wasn't 'feelin'
Maybe I'm being a prissy lil girl who wants to get there way... but I have a fucking social anxiety problem. I can't be placed in "unpredictable environments" because I feel like I have no where to run. No where to hide. And I feel like I'm put under a microscope from all these strangers, talking shit about me or poking fun. I get VERY uncomfortable in situations such as "games" because I feel like if I were to like... trip when I was running after someone, that I would break down and cry.
So I give up. I'm never hanging out with his friends again. I'm not going to put forth the effort. I'm not going to put myself out there in front of everyone to laugh at me. I just can't do it. I won't do it. And I'm putting my foot down. If Ronnie really wanted to include me in HIS LIFE with HIS FRIENDS, then he would bring them over to OUR house... where I feel safe.
I feel really left out right now. And kind of foolish. My face is beat red with embarrassment for no good reason, other than than the fact that Ronnie's friends probably think I'm a panzy for not wanting to play a game with them. I feel like I just can't win.