All of my batteries are dying; maybe I should recharge.
What the hell?
Where does this even begin? 1 year ago I was miserable. I was as pregnant as a woman can be; excited and nervous and terrified about the new life about to begin. Literally.
If you knew me a year prior, you may not even recognize me if we were to pass.
Things are just as they were but completely different.
My man-man will be a year old in three days. Already!! He's no longer the baby he used to be, but has grown into the most amazing wee-one a mother could ask for. Every day is some new and exciting adventure.
I made the decision to go back into management. I was doing everything I could think of financially to keep my head above water, but I am drowning. Making the move is going to cut 24 hours a week out of my life with Aeson. But I distinctly remember making a promise to him that no matter how hard mommy ever has to work, he'll never know because he'll have everything he could ever ask for.
I feel emotionally exhausted today. I started taking birth control and am about to have a period. Fucking hell... I don't do this, I'd rather not bleed out my crotch. But... I guess it's not normal to not have one, so lets here it for doing whats right? This hormonal roller-coaster is really fucking with me today. Ups and downs and bitchiness and moods and cravings and cramps and
. I hate it.
Also exhausted because I miss him. Oh man, I think it's getting harder and harder. As we get closer to the time we'll never have to say good bye, the time spent away from him is a vicious reminder of how much love I have for this man that I can't give to him fully.
Side bar- Did you know I quit smoking a while back?
What the hell?
Where does this even begin? 1 year ago I was miserable. I was as pregnant as a woman can be; excited and nervous and terrified about the new life about to begin. Literally.
If you knew me a year prior, you may not even recognize me if we were to pass.
Things are just as they were but completely different.
My man-man will be a year old in three days. Already!! He's no longer the baby he used to be, but has grown into the most amazing wee-one a mother could ask for. Every day is some new and exciting adventure.
I made the decision to go back into management. I was doing everything I could think of financially to keep my head above water, but I am drowning. Making the move is going to cut 24 hours a week out of my life with Aeson. But I distinctly remember making a promise to him that no matter how hard mommy ever has to work, he'll never know because he'll have everything he could ever ask for.
I feel emotionally exhausted today. I started taking birth control and am about to have a period. Fucking hell... I don't do this, I'd rather not bleed out my crotch. But... I guess it's not normal to not have one, so lets here it for doing whats right? This hormonal roller-coaster is really fucking with me today. Ups and downs and bitchiness and moods and cravings and cramps and
. I hate it.
Also exhausted because I miss him. Oh man, I think it's getting harder and harder. As we get closer to the time we'll never have to say good bye, the time spent away from him is a vicious reminder of how much love I have for this man that I can't give to him fully.
Side bar- Did you know I quit smoking a while back?
littlejohn22:
good on you for quitting smoking... hang in there sister.