missmay

i've decided he is nothing to me. i can no longer feel sorry for myself. he doesnt want me, never did. he is no one to me. god that feels so good to say.. but its one thing to say it and another to believe it. i was looking at pictures of cortney's babies today. i cant wait for mine! my horoscope has been telling me, as well as my dreams, i need to dedicate my passion to something else. he is no longer my passion. my baby is. moving out is. becoming someone without that parasitic "love" is going to be great. i just have to get over this!! i wish the preggie emotions werent there. im glad they are, they equal baby!! im so ready to have someone who truly cant live without me, someone who will always love me.

now for this job issue... well, not really job. i dont know what i'm going to do here soon. i wont be able to work at that location. i mean i can, just not happily, or comfortably, or truly safely. i have to go up and down steps at least i'd say anywhere from 20-40 times a day, depending on what day it is. matter of fact, im keeping a tally tomorrow. i work 7-6. i bet im up and down the stairs at least 15 times before 9am. i also need to find some online classes and start going to school or look for another job. im just not making enough money to support me and baby. and trust me, im doing this alone until child support comes. even then, i doubt its much. i dont want to rely on that though. i need to be very independant and be able to support us by myself.
im going for advice here soon. any advice you all could give me would be awesome!! if you know a great online course study. i'd like to do something i can work from home for maybe 7 months after baby is born? my mom said medical trasncription?