3:28. 12 hours and counting. shots before work? no. no drinking and driving. (thank you for being there cole). ahh fuck, cole. i cry about once a week thinking of you. what am i gonna do at the family christmas? i miss you so much. i miss your voice, your antics, your advice. you would tell me just to drink beers to fix it. all i have is my tattoo and some videos, and pictures. why did you have to go? you could fix all of this right now.
i think i might drive my car into oncoming traffic on the highway. wait..no.i wouldnt do that to the car, or to dustin. i'd get myself murdered. make it quick. make it painful.
dreamt of him again. he hurt me. he hurt me like he always has. he left me. he left me without warning and he took my soul with him. he owns my soul and knows this. i'll never get it back. to live soulless is not unimaginable.
i think i might drive my car into oncoming traffic on the highway. wait..no.i wouldnt do that to the car, or to dustin. i'd get myself murdered. make it quick. make it painful.
dreamt of him again. he hurt me. he hurt me like he always has. he left me. he left me without warning and he took my soul with him. he owns my soul and knows this. i'll never get it back. to live soulless is not unimaginable.
The heart, though, is a type of comodity, with usually uneven rates of exchange. The heart in us that loves is regenerative, the more we give to others the more we regrow what is given/shared. When that love/heart is taken or abused, and susiquently removed, we feel like no love is left, or even the capacity, we feel only the loss, as you sound like, but it is not hopeless, there is in you still a heart, wounded or broken, and it will regenerate.
Your blog/post is sad and unfortunate, I hope you will find peace and comfort in your friends, of not there are those of us out herre on the other side of the screen who want you to be well.