2023 was pure chaos, disaster after disaster. a sick cat, car accidents and in the middle of the year i suddenly had to stop treating my bipolar disorder. i stumbled through the year trying to keep all my pieces togethet. every time i tried to come back to work and failed, the impostor syndrome would rise again and slowly consume me from the inside. i’m rebuilding trust with myself, so i’m doing it slowly.
obviously, all areas of my life were affected, including my appetite. it actually disapeared. i lost a lot of weight, more than 15kg. and for the first time in a long time my self esteem suffered a hit. sometimes i couldn’t recognise my body in the mirror. i know for a fact that i’m still hot, but now i see shadows and bones i never seen before. it’s weird sometimes.
amidst all the chaos, a few good things happened. i was allowed to find out how much i’m loved by the people i’m surrounded. how special and strong my support network is. also, i got a new girlfriend. and a few new tattoos. posts with pics are coming soon.
now i’m back in treatment and i think i’m having progress. this community actually help a lot, so i’ll always come back to you. also, you can see i’m the type who wirtes a lot, lol. i like the idea of expressing and connecting with each other in the blogs and groups. i just hope you like to read long posts…
oh, i also quit drinking, but that’s a story for its own post.
oh, my onlyfans is also up to date! i was having a creative block, but i’ve been testing some new things and ideas have been poping in my head. soon there will be some surprises there.
i think that’s it. thank you again for holding my hand untill this day!
love you guys
xoxo
ps: it was not it. few hours after i wrote this i went for a walk with my dog Ralph and he got attacked by 3 american bullies. we had to rush him to a vet, he got medicated and a lot of stitches, but now we’re home and everything will be fine! please send good energy for his recovery 💖
