in my presentation blog, I told you guys that I’m most of all a dreamer. I wasn’t lying. being part of this community is a dream I’ve had for over 10 years now.
I was kind of an overachiever teenager (and I have the mathematics olympic medal to prove it) at the end of High School when a friend showed me the instagram page of suicide girls an explained a little about. my first thought was ‘wow, that’s amazing. I wanna do that for a living”. well, here I am trying to live the dream.
for a long time I though it was an impossible dream. I was insecure about my body and thought I had to change it to fit. I also thought I had to have so much money to make many tattoos and piercings and body mods to be here. most of all, I thought it was impossible to be a regular brazilian girl and be a part of this community of such amazing people.
so I put this dream in a little box called ‘impossible’. you know, like this dreams we have as kids of being an astronaut or president, lol.
life goes on, and I eventually began making my tattoos, piercings and body mods. then a friend of mine showed me her work as an alt model. she wasn’t a suicide girl at that time, but when I saw her site I remembered that dream.
she encouraged me to start in this career, and I began in a brazilian platform that allowed people to pay for my self shot photos. at that time, I still thought it was impossible to become a suicide girl being a regular girl with just a few tattoos.
so I became friends with other models, and I got in touch with a few suicide girls online. all of a sudden one of them (it was @sirenia and I thank you very much, baby) asked me if I knew anything about the suicide girls website, because she thought I was perfect for the site.
my heart stopped for a second. ‘am I really good enough for the site?’ was the first thought that went trough my head. she encouraged me, but even then I was insecure about it.
eventually I got to know @babu and @yuuh and they also encouraged me to pursue this dream. so we made my set and I registered in the site.
I still have a hard time to believe that I’m here. the day I shot my set was one of the best days of my life. I got to know in person people that I already admired online, like @babu @yuuh and @maciel and they were just incredible. regular girls like me, and yet so much more than that. my friend @talee was also there, and it was a perfect day.
I don’t have the words to say how much it means to me to be here. I’m very excited to show you a lot more about myself, and also to get to know you all. hope you like my little dreaming self, and hope we have a lot of fun here.
thank you for being such an incredible community, and thank you for accepting me.
xoxo,
Mistress Lilith
@missy @sean @penny @jacqueline
