missingpiece

ignoring the facts will not change the facts. all relevance aside, still pretty prophetic yes?
everything has come to an end! not true really, i just thought the pathetic nature of that statement would fit nicely within the construct of recent happenings. truth is, throughout my life i have been, at times, the most pathetic character. it must be some kind of self abhorring nature possessed by the infinitly bored. if your gonna fuck shit up, why not start with yourself right? however, on the inverse i am also the most detached and bitterly cold person at times. childhood trama and all that. for the most part this is how i have lived my life,(as im sure many people have) never really treating others as equal, constatly manipulating circumstances to suit my own deviant and perverted desires.
things change rapidly and without warning, i know this. but after this past summer i found myself questioning everything. how did i get here? is this really what i had hoped my life would reveal? that sacrifice and selfhatred were to become my fated forever. so things changed, at my hands or at the hands of fate? i dont think i will ever admit to the true nature of the events that led to the inevitable end. regardless of intent, there i was. knocked down, only to be picked up by what i will allways percieve as an angel. this is not as a result of circumstances surounding the most recent events in my life, which have been enjoyable yet trying to say the least. but as a result of my realizing, and beginning to understand that, true courage is shown through our ability to be honest and open hearted. no matter how many times we are hurt as a result of it.
to be courageous has certainly become my aim.
for this, and so many other things, i am greatful.
you will allways have my love, without end...