I'm in one hell of mood right now.
I guess because the weather is very fall like ... or maybe because I was just back home.
But I miss him. You know ... the one who said 'I love you' without saying a word. Yeah that one.
It's been over two years since I've even talked to him ... and I've been dreaming about him for the last 6 mo. ... so much to the point I thought he might have died ... but my sources tell me otherwise.
I could try to find him again ... it wouldn't be hard. I talk to his family all the time. But what would I say ? "Hi there ... I've been doing everything I've ever wanted to do and you are still stuck in a crapy small town with no future/hopes/dreams."
Or maybe I'm just afraid.
I would give everything up for him .... he only has to ask. It scares me to love someone that much ... it makes me feel weak.
3 songs that I won't stop playing right now :
Silent all these years
The nurse who loved me
'cause you're so great
Someone shoot me
I guess because the weather is very fall like ... or maybe because I was just back home.
But I miss him. You know ... the one who said 'I love you' without saying a word. Yeah that one.
It's been over two years since I've even talked to him ... and I've been dreaming about him for the last 6 mo. ... so much to the point I thought he might have died ... but my sources tell me otherwise.
I could try to find him again ... it wouldn't be hard. I talk to his family all the time. But what would I say ? "Hi there ... I've been doing everything I've ever wanted to do and you are still stuck in a crapy small town with no future/hopes/dreams."
Or maybe I'm just afraid.
I would give everything up for him .... he only has to ask. It scares me to love someone that much ... it makes me feel weak.
3 songs that I won't stop playing right now :
Silent all these years
The nurse who loved me
'cause you're so great
Someone shoot me
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
Of course, it's one thing to intellectually understand this emotional/idealizational kind of thing. It doesn't necessarily change the way you feel. But perhaps it can keep you from making a poor decision or two. I used to feel very much like you describe about the woman I mentioned, and I just couldn't process it, no matter how much thinking I did. It seriously screwed up my love life for many years. I was so stuck on this particular fantasy I had made up that looked like this person, that I couldn't take real women for what they were. It only got better in a visceral way once I started working myself ragged in the sculpture studio and writing the stories. Then, somehow, it really sunk in that what I was all swoony, aching and nostalgic about all along was really just a personified part of me. More or less a self-obsession. Good for art, but not good for relating to other people.