missbernie

Patrick: It was just so embarassing. I didn't know what to do.
Steve: Happens to us all mate.
Jeff: All of us, in our time, are visited by the melty man.
Patrick: The what?
Jeff: Don't say his name, Patrick. Don't even think his name or he will rise from the shadow dimensions to do his evil work on your terrified pants.
[chuckle] Patrick: Terrified pants?
[gravely] Steve: There's nothing funny about the melty man, Patrick.
[face falls] Patrick: You know about the melty man, too?
[in a "duh!" voice] Steve: We all know the melty man.
Patrick: Who is he?
Steve: The archenemy of trouser confidence.
Jeff: Professor Moriarty. In groin form.
Steve: Darth Vader
Jeff: Without the helmet.
[terrified and shocked] Patrick: What does he do?!
Jeff: Patrick, you *know* what he does.
[looks down] Patrick: Oh right.
Jeff: You're in bed with a woman. Everything's going fine. That's when the melty man strikes.
Steve: Suddenly you find yourself thinking, "Maybe she's really bored".
Jeff: Maybe you're licking her neck too much. Are you over-wetting her neck?
Steve: Are you spending an equal amount of time on each breast? I mean, what if one breast gets ahead?
Jeff: Should you be switching between them really quickly or should you squish 'em both together and do them at once
[demonstrates]
[frowns] Patrick:
Steve: Or should you skip one breast completely just to save time?
Jeff: She's wriggling about. Is that a good sign or is she just trying to draw her neck?


*****
i love coupling!!