miss_piss

sew
see saw

sorry

so...

i haven't worn make-up to work this week because i haven't felt well...but, i did today and my boss (the one that (oh i wanna be mean...)) said...
"Well you look like you're feeling better, a little colour in your cheeks..."

i didn't fulfil my commitment last night or make it to the show...
"black" held me in the night in a way that made me never want to get out of bed

dinner with the neighbour tonight, friend's baby's birthday party tomorrow, spades date on sunday, "black" has to work... you know...just shit

i have never been very good at making or having female friends but i spoke with a woman on the phone last night that i have known for a few years... acquaintances, we talked for a long time about what it is that we do with our time and agreed that in our community there doesn't seem to be very many women doing what we do... i am aware that this may sound vague and self-centered ... but i think its true...
it was a wonderful talk and she told me something really cool... she told me that someday i would really feel my age (which i never have) and she is more than ten years my senior
i would love to feel 22...
ie: at five years old, when my mother made a request of me, I said something to the affect of "if you are going to try to instill some sense of self-discipline now...forget it"
oh lord
and you know, i left home (and the country i lived in) at sixteen and haven't borrowed any money from my folks or anyone else (not even creditors) for three years... i have a house and dogs and i pay my bills on time and i work forty hours a week and i feel like a fucking boring old fucking fart!
do i ever get to go back?
i doubt it
what happened
i like it, but this is not what i ever wanted

Everyone have a great weekend!