miss_magenta

i'm not worth it. i never was. i guess i was just trying to fool myself into thinking i was... but i'm not. no matter what, i always end up fucking things up.

to me you are the light,
from the light bulb that breaks sometimes.
and the tender warmth inside,
is released into my life.
and it smothers me in flames,
that lick and scorch my face.
as the smoke reaches the sky
i'm burning tonight.
i burn for you tonight.

dear today,
now, i am not sure what i did to piss you off so bad but i really don't appreciate you being so mean to me. do you enjoy watching me cry and seeing me so upset? you must or you wouldn't be so cruel. well, whatever your reasons, i would appreciate you not doing this to me again. i am not sure how...
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well i had such very high hopes...
that you could be the butter for my toast.

hahaha... my monster cracks me up. the other day she was at day care playing outside. the ladies inside told another little girl to go outside tell her to come in because they wanted to fix her hair before my sister came by to pick her up. the girl told her but she didn't want to go and the little girl tried to pick her...
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yeah buddy... i just got an email on how to grow my penis safely and naturally! yes! finally. i have been wondering how to do that for so long... oh wait, but i don't *have* a penis. *shrug* damn.

so i am just sitting here waiting for the people that are going to install my cable internet to get here. that's right. that bitch dial-up...
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the last two days of work were super duper busy, but that is good in a way. lots of tip money. yay. i am just so exhausted.. it is hard for me to focus, my eyes, my mind, anything and everything right now.

i have been thinking a lot... i miss it. i miss you. i want the little things so bad. i want to...
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"randy. what's the matter? why are you crying for?"

"daddy's gonna kill ralphy."

"no he is not."

"yes he is too."

"no hunny. daddy is not going to kill ralphy."

i am really good at fucking up.

had a busy weekend at work. both saturday night and sunday morning were busy busy. it went okay though. i went to orangevale last night to see the blood brothers. i had a really good time. i was kind of bummed because i had to go solo, but i wasn't going to miss another one of their shows just because i didn't have anyone to...
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holy fucking hell i am tired. i work with some of the biggest idiots i think exist... it isn't fun. maybe i am just a bitter and too serious bitch... maybe. joking around is fine, but it is always brought way too far where it is just annoying. *shrug* i'm home now. i made $85 in tips. w00t! off to collapse into bed. night.

*edited...
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*bounce* new afi is soooooooooooooo fucking good. at first i was kind of "ehh" about it, but i can tell this is quickly going to become my new addiction. i have decided it is not fair to be selfish about them. yes, i have been a true fan for a very long time now. yes, i really enjoyed seeing them in super small clubs. yes,...
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