wow do i hate being bipolar.
i hate taking meds. i hate feeling crazy. i hate hurting people with my words and actions.
went to the doc on wed. and told him about my embarrassing side effects due to the geodon i am taking. I've been suffering for a few months now but i just didnt have the balls to say anything before. But enough is enough! i am sick of not having a sex drive. i sick of not having orgasms. I'm 24 yrs old and i should be fucking like a crazy! But all the fucking stopped when i stopped being manic. I'm happy to not be manic, i'm happy to just live life and be sane. Its just not fair that i have to sacrifice one in order to have the other.
so i told my doc what i thought, that i thought the geodon was what was causing this. He didnt listen. He did change my meds but he didnt listen. He thinks its the effexor and the geodon combo that is causing this. He lowered my dose of effexor (which i'm soo not fucking happy about becuase i love that shit) and started me on some welbutrin (sp?). The past 4 days have been soooo horrible. I think i'm losing my mind. I have an even shorter fuse now...
i've had the "rage" (thats what i call it) at my husband, my sister, my best friend.... every one. No one is safe. I get soo upset over the smallest things. so upset that i cant see straight. or think straight. all i want to hurt others, to unleash the "rage" inside of me. i wouldnt say i'd physically hurt them but verbally, emotionally.
And things arent so great here with my peeps. We already have "drama" going on between the four of us. All becuase of some twnety year old named Jonathon. Fuck jonathon! he's worhtless scum. i refuse to be his friend but my sister and Hannah still hang out with him. They go out of thier way and dont include me just so they can be with him. its a bunch of bullshit. fuck them. i dont want anything to do with them if they want to be like that. I dont fucking need them. i'll make new friends, like i always do and just move on.
so you see this new medicine isnt really helping this whole situation. its just making it that much worse. i feel the rage all the time becuase i'm always fighting with someone about that worthless asshole.....
god, i give up. i really do. i'm going to shut the fuck up and let them learn on thier own. what else can i do?!
i hate taking meds. i hate feeling crazy. i hate hurting people with my words and actions.
went to the doc on wed. and told him about my embarrassing side effects due to the geodon i am taking. I've been suffering for a few months now but i just didnt have the balls to say anything before. But enough is enough! i am sick of not having a sex drive. i sick of not having orgasms. I'm 24 yrs old and i should be fucking like a crazy! But all the fucking stopped when i stopped being manic. I'm happy to not be manic, i'm happy to just live life and be sane. Its just not fair that i have to sacrifice one in order to have the other.
so i told my doc what i thought, that i thought the geodon was what was causing this. He didnt listen. He did change my meds but he didnt listen. He thinks its the effexor and the geodon combo that is causing this. He lowered my dose of effexor (which i'm soo not fucking happy about becuase i love that shit) and started me on some welbutrin (sp?). The past 4 days have been soooo horrible. I think i'm losing my mind. I have an even shorter fuse now...
i've had the "rage" (thats what i call it) at my husband, my sister, my best friend.... every one. No one is safe. I get soo upset over the smallest things. so upset that i cant see straight. or think straight. all i want to hurt others, to unleash the "rage" inside of me. i wouldnt say i'd physically hurt them but verbally, emotionally.
And things arent so great here with my peeps. We already have "drama" going on between the four of us. All becuase of some twnety year old named Jonathon. Fuck jonathon! he's worhtless scum. i refuse to be his friend but my sister and Hannah still hang out with him. They go out of thier way and dont include me just so they can be with him. its a bunch of bullshit. fuck them. i dont want anything to do with them if they want to be like that. I dont fucking need them. i'll make new friends, like i always do and just move on.
so you see this new medicine isnt really helping this whole situation. its just making it that much worse. i feel the rage all the time becuase i'm always fighting with someone about that worthless asshole.....
god, i give up. i really do. i'm going to shut the fuck up and let them learn on thier own. what else can i do?!
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ps: i'm the one that seen you in the store thursday
told ya i'd find you...lol sea ya later beb..