misha9999999

how would you in one sentence express overwhelming rage and a complete inability to do anything about it? When things spin out of control and take on their own path? When you say things to people that make them realize what an asshole you are? When it makes you realize the same thing?
Moments like that make it clear how
hypocritical I am... I've had people around me that
only sucked and sucked and sucked everything out
of me like leeches and I loved them dearly. I would've
done anything for them. And then there are people
who are just willing to give you all these positive happy emotions and I can't deal with it... They're shoving it down my throat and I don't want it... They're willing to deal with my shit and stupid paranoia, for what? The same reason I was willing to deal with someone else?s - because they love me.
And I take this love of theirs and mix it up with dirt and shit and throw it back into their faces. Because I can. And their eating this shit up, their gobbling it down like it's god's manna or something.
Road to hell is paved with good intentions. I'm really really pissed off at myself at others at the world.
No, not at the world and not at other, mostly at myself. Thank you for listening my anonymous friend.