Ah, I'm not feeling particularly stable at the moment. I started crying in the waiting room at the doctor's yesterday (renewing my 'le pill' prescription, seems pretty pointless though seeing as it's unlikely I'll be getting any for a while) and then again on the way home, then at home reading, then at home fucking about doing nothing.
I'm feeling slightly less stressed about it at the moment, though. I haven't talked to him properly yet, but I think we both know that we'd be better off as friends at least for the time being. If we carry on labeling this as a relationship I don't think that we're ever gonna be how we were again, and I really, really want that. But every time he calls me confused, or I wake up with a text telling me that he feels awful my heart just sinks a little lower. And every time he doubts how he feels, or how he's felt (he told me the other day that he didn't even remember how to think that I was cute) it just chips away at what we used to have and I really, really don't want to turn out like me and my ex (estranged and bitter) because I love him so much. I think more than anything right now he needs his best friend. He also needs to stop talking to me about the specifics that involve me, because it's downright heart-breaking.
He does have other problems, not just about us which I don't really feel comfortable talking about. But yesterday he went to get some help which I think is a really positive step, and I'm so proud of him I couldn't tell you.
So although I don't want to break up with him, I think that it's for the best, so that we might have some chance of being together in the future.
Now what am I gonna do with those 1000 texts that I get every month??
xxxx x
I'm feeling slightly less stressed about it at the moment, though. I haven't talked to him properly yet, but I think we both know that we'd be better off as friends at least for the time being. If we carry on labeling this as a relationship I don't think that we're ever gonna be how we were again, and I really, really want that. But every time he calls me confused, or I wake up with a text telling me that he feels awful my heart just sinks a little lower. And every time he doubts how he feels, or how he's felt (he told me the other day that he didn't even remember how to think that I was cute) it just chips away at what we used to have and I really, really don't want to turn out like me and my ex (estranged and bitter) because I love him so much. I think more than anything right now he needs his best friend. He also needs to stop talking to me about the specifics that involve me, because it's downright heart-breaking.
He does have other problems, not just about us which I don't really feel comfortable talking about. But yesterday he went to get some help which I think is a really positive step, and I'm so proud of him I couldn't tell you.
So although I don't want to break up with him, I think that it's for the best, so that we might have some chance of being together in the future.
Now what am I gonna do with those 1000 texts that I get every month??
xxxx x
Hmm...
I'll trade you them for my collection of exotic liquers (I'm giving up drinking for a month or so). Cloudberry liquer is justice - cloudberries can put smiles on anymore's face
Hope you're feeling better. Decisions like this are never easy, but if it's for the sake of safeguarding a future then it might be for the best. Eep! Not that I'm one who should really be giving out relationship advice