mirkywaters

Its offical, my buisness is taking me back to San Francisco for the month of March. I am excited to see my family out there and it would be a lie if I said I wasn't looking forward to warmer weather.

But mostly I am uneasy about going...Its like this, my exwife stills out there. I have a lot of memories of San Francisco with her in them. Most are great memories. But I was starting to finally get her out of my head. What if I run into her. Chances I might see her at a bar or something are slim since we have different taste in bars.

She IM me the other day. Asking how things were going. Trying to be all nice. Was she really, I didn't give her the benefit of the doubt. I gave her reluctant but honest answers to all her privacy probing questions. Am I happier now than with her, no, but life happens. Move on right. She was expecting me to say yes?!..... I don't think so. Was she right and I was better off with out her. I think that i will never know. I do know when a relationship ends its so one or the other can take a better path for themselves. Making the other have to deal with the consequences. Thats just how it goes. I am on the receiving end of a break up. Sucks to be me. Moving on.

She was certain that we could remain good friends. Have conversations like friends do about who the other is dating and whats important to us in our lilves. How dare her. How can I let her have the best of both worlds. After all, SHE divorced me. She could no longer share her life with me. So why should I, when it is at her conveinence, have to put up with 'how is your work'; 'are you happy'; 'do you love your new girlfriend'.....

Well I offically wrote way too much. Obviously i am still hurting. which doesn't help my new relationship. Which is a whole other topic in itself that I will save for another time...........