mirkywaters

Its been almost 3 months now that I have been free from the clutches of deaths cold fingers. And by fingers I mean cigerettes.

So, I was hoping that by now I would feel some sort of difference in my physical well being. Breathe easier, abundant amount of energy, and everything else that is promised. Maybe its too early for results. Maybe I smoked for too long and the damage is irrevesable. But all I feel is slightly disappointed.
Now, not to be misunderstood. I am not going back to the cancer sticks. That is an addiction that I can do with out.

Yeah, I can admit that it was an addiction. But i think I have proven to myself that it is all mental.
I never used no patch or gum. Just woke up one day and said to myself, "I think today is the day.This addiction is a state of mind and I am the head of my state!"
Enough is enough. 17 years. What was I waiting for. A good reason? What better reason than to add another day to my life right. To stick around just a little bit longer for friends and family.

Well like I said earlier, its been almost 3 months and not once have I cheated. I feel urges from time to time. (Especially when drinking!) But I have stuck to my convictions. I just take a deep breathe (as deep as an ex smoker can anyway) and reassure myself that it is a state of mind and that I am better off. Physically and financially.

Anyway, all this talk and here comes the urges again...

Will I ever be truely free from this addiction, probably not, but I certainly am not going down with out a fight...

Merry Christmas everyone. Thats right, I said Merry Christmas. Sue me!....Another rant for another time