mirima

So, I had training today. Everything went well, including getting there on time this time, and actually being dressed for it. Last time I went, I wasn't dressed properly, and I got there ten minutes late, and they wouldn't let me in. I got my first red dot, which is sort of a rewards program. If I get enough of them, I get sweet prizes....
Read More

I'm sick and tired of constantly being judged. I'm not perfect, and I don't pretend to be. I'm not normal by societies standards, and I never will be. I don't have the perfect body, or the perfect job, or the perfect life. I don't have the perfect relationships, and I don't fit into that suburban lifestyle that everyone seems to want for me. I am...
Read More

So, despite being happy, and everything going my way, I keep having these bouts of depression, where it seems like there are absolutely no solutions for anything. Like, no matter what I do, I'm fucking it up.

I'm sick of this. Is it even worth it anymore?

So our first weekend of Camelot went great. My friends came to see me Saturday night. They loved the performance, and it was so great to see them. We all went out to dinner afterwards. Andy and I had really missed each other, so we cuddled and made out a bit in the backseat of the car while Ross drove us to the diner. It's...
Read More

Last night was opening night for Camelot. We screwed up a few times...people missing lines, but all in all it was a pretty good show. We're performing all weekend and next weekend too. I'd show you production stills, but the ones of me are really bad. Maybe some other time I'll show them.

Went to Northampton Pride today, in Western MA. I brought the girl...
Read More

I feel so isolated lately. My depression is constantly getting worse. I'm not sure what to do anymore. I feel like I've been replaced with my friends. I feel like I'm not important anymore.

Yay, I get to hang out with Ross and Rose tomorrow night and Saturday! I feel like the only time I ever get to be myself is when I'm with them, and even then I get all shy and shut up. I hope one day I'll find the courage to show them the me they seem to love and want.

In other news...I'm really poor....
Read More