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mirima

a place where hopes and dreams go to die

Member Since 2009

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Sunday Jul 22, 2012

Jul 22, 2012
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Andrew is my teenage crush...the guy I would have liked when I was his age. Now that I'm older, my tastes have changed. I'd like to believe I'm not the same girl I was five years go...when I was his age. For goodness sake, I'd at least like to be dating someone who I could drink with...in public! I guess he appeals to the part of me that has forgotten how to be an adult. Ok ok, so I never really learned how to be an adult, but still. I'd like to feel a little more responsible with my life. I'd like to believe that I'm doing something and going somewhere. I'd also like to think that he's not holding me back from accomplishing. I have goals, many in fact. Goals to explore and delve in to my many talents. Ummm...ok, so I only have the one talent, but it's a good one! I feel like I fell for someone who I am traveling backwards with, while he's traveling forwards. Where will we meet in the middle? Who will I be then, who will he be? I suppose you can't really help who you fall for. He completes me, almost entirely. He still has much to learn, and I'm teaching and mentoring him as much as I possibly can, with the assist of a few others. Part of me wants to be a grown up, and then again, part of me wants to stay a kid forever.

The other night we went to see Batman with a bunch of his friends. It's funny that whenever we hang out with his friends, I'm the oldest, and whenever we hang out with my friends, he's the youngest. But anyway, we went to the movie, and then Kenna suggested we all go to the diner. It was 3 am when the movie ended, and we got to the diner close to 4. I had a grilled cheese, and took pictures. Andrew shared his shake with me. He's a total germaphobe, but ignores it with me, obviously. We're swapping bodily fluids anyway! We talked about Batman, laughed about nerd stuff. I talked with Kenna and Katie about school, since we all go to the same one. I have jealousy issues with Katie, but I'm trying to ignore them. Andrew has been crushing on her for years, and I think she's hotter than me, despite his attempts to reassure me otherwise. She seems nice though, and she thinks I hate her...wonder why. :/ Everyone left the diner, eventually, except for me, Andrew, and Skye. Skye locked his keys in his car, and had to call AAA. We waited there until after 5am. I didn't get home until 6 in the morning. I promptly wrote a note to my parents about not waking me up, and slept till 3 in the afternoon. I'm too old to be doing that. I haven't stayed up that late since I was 19.

What was the point? Oh right, growing up! When will I be grown up? What is the sign? Is it when I graduate? Is it when I find a full time job, get my own place, and am financially stable? Having a license and a car might be nice too. Do I have to dump the 19 year old boyfriend in order to establish a grown up attitude? I tried once with 25 year old Brandon, but we saw how that turned out. Oh well, I guess for now I'll keep dating Batman. tongue
semiretiredpunk:
Being a grown-up is a myth. Other people may think someone is, and they may think they are themselves, but they are deluded.
Jul 22, 2012
tylert:
I don't know. I don't feel "grown up" but I'm different than I was when I was 19....a lot different. Maybe "growing up" is not a destination....maybe it's a process.....Maybe you are growing up by asking yourself all these questions. I don't know. Good luck.

Oh...I saw Batman the other night.....It was sooooo good! I loved it.
Jul 22, 2012

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