mirima

I'm sitting in the living room of my friend's apartment, listening to him argue with his girlfriend. This isn't the way I planned this. This isn't the way I wanted it to be. I thought things would be different this time.
So, here's how I got myself into this mess: I know this guy from high school...lost my virginity to him. One night he asks if I want to have a threesome with him and his girlfriend, now fiance. We do it, and now they're interested in more than just casual sex and a friendship. They want me to come visit. They want me to stay over. I'm here until Wednesday, in my home town, facing demons...with all my RI friends wanting to see me, and me stuck here, with him arguing with his girlfriend. She wants me, he wants me, she doesn't want me to have him, she doesn't want to leave us alone. I'm so confused, and I don't know what to do. They want me to be their live in lover. I wish I could, but I can't. I want more.
I like someone...I do. I wish to have something more meaningful. I wish not to be an object anymore. I wish to be loved more than I'm already loved. I want what I've never wanted...sometimes. Sometimes all I can take is casual sex. Sometimes I want more. Right now I want more. Right now, I don't want to be sitting here, in a house full of turmoil.
I'm stuck here till Wednesday.