mirima

I think the things inside my head are making me sick. Have you ever felt like that? Been so utterly depressed that you can feel the physical pains of it? Everything hurts, my entire body, I feel sick, I can't eat...all I want to do is lay down and forget about it all. I can't look anyone in the eye, I can't find my voice. I feel like crying, but I'd be crying over nothing...and that just feels foolish in my opinion. The people I care about most won't talk to me, and I can't face the people who require my attention. I have no motivation to do anything, but I'm restless in my house. I can't figure out what it is that I want or need, and I can't pick up a phone to ask for help.
I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. It just gets worse and worse, day by day. I'm sinking deeper and deeper, and there's no one there to catch me. I want him to catch me, but he won't. He ignores me when I try to talk to him...I guess its not worth trying anymore. I don't want to do this to myself anymore. Pretend I don't care, when I do. But, no one cares that I care, and no one cares that I'm hurting, and if they do, they can't do anything about it. I wish there was someone here, to just sit next to me...someone who understood. I'm not sure I want someone to listen, and I'm not sure I want any physical comfort. Just someone to be here, to sit next to.