mira77

You are just the sweetest! Thankyou for the wonderful comment on my blog, it meant a lot!

Alright. First, I will say thank you. I was raised to be appreciative of those who extend kindness of any sort. So I shall. However, being my humble self, I must take a moment to say I by no means deserve such a gracious compliment. It is just mere experience, man. I have just been there. A lot. Many times. I too wear my heart on my sleeve. I am what my current boyfriend and I termed a "nicer." We do whatever we can to help, please, and attract others, yet we get not even a simple thank you in return. Perhaps in some senses you should be grateful that you are the better person. Maybe even humanitarian even, depending on the situation, but I am by no means perfect. I do agree with you however. on a lot of your points. I as well spend 100% of my time trying to be what this world wants.This has only done two things in my life. One, it has shown me that there are many flaws in this life we are living. Not only mine as a person, but others in society as well. What do I mean? Well, that is simple. Those who expect so much out of a person or who want perfection out of another individual are really the ones with the problem. They are lacking something within themselves so they target those who are available, generally the "nicer", to be the person they chose to abuse. Sadly this isn't fair. Secondly, I have become aware that while trying to meet such ridiculous expectations, you are the only one that gets hurt. I do not know why that is. You just have to get to the point where you stop pleasing. It is hard. I still do not know how. It is all in the word "No!" A word that is not in my vocabulary unfortunately.

As for the hate thing. I always said to myself I could never hate someone. Well, that isn't possible I do not believe. A person can make you hate them. Maybe not them directly per se, but the things they have done to you or the results of their interactions in your life. I have sacrificed a lot for individuals in my life and ended up losing everything over it. Events such as this cause you to hate, I suppose. Maybe I should regret, not hate? Are we bad for feeling such extreme emotion. I think not. I think it is human. Who has the right to enforce something to alter your emotion toward another? Take for example, counseling. I understand if you are a threat to an individual then maybe you may need mediation or some sort of psychological help, but where in the code of life is it stated that you will kill over for detesting someone? I believe if you are hurt, then you should feel what you feel. That is if your feelings are rational. So it depends on the situation. I know of a few people that I have considered using the "hate" word over. The mere look of them or even their name makes vomit come in my mouth for I know what I did for them only to get what I did in the end. Should a therapist or mediator try to talk me about of feeling this way and make us civil? No. I will just avoid them. However, if they choose, and I decide against in my case, a professional may help you will those issues of trust and such. That I think they have the right to do. Your feelings are your own. No one should try to alter them. I do not care who they are. As long as you aren't hurting anyone, then who cares if you really physically get ill over the thought of someone. They gave you a good reason, I am sure. So it is justified. Avoidance is possible. At home, outside, and in the workplace. Not everyone has to be friends. Not everyone has to like each other. That is what is wrong with society these days, I believe. People worry too much about fitting in. Break the mold. Be an individual. If a person dislikes you for you, then in my opinion they weren't worth your time in the first place.

Hell, listen to me. I am reading this back because I always like to edit. I have a type A personality. I am a grammar freak and such and I noticed one very important thing. I need to take my own advice. Why is that so hard. Talk the talk, but you can't walk the walk, huh Jen? Once again, that proves the theory that there is no perfection in life. Take what you will. I will listen to you anytime. Free of charge. I do not know if my advice is the best or even validated, but take it as you well. I like to think at best I am a good person and one hell of a friend. Or at least I try to be. Maybe that is why I have so few. *shrugs* All joking aside, I love talking especially when it is a discussion such as this. So feel free to vent my way. I can not promise what can of advice or words you will get, but there is always something on my mind to share. Keep me updated friend.