minusblindfold70

Why does everyone have to be complete assholes or bitches!?! Fuck ! Dammit fuck this , I'm done trying to be cool with people who obviously are waaaaaaaay different than me. Fuck it. And by different I mean have no morals or respect for others. A guy can't joke around sometimes without getting his fucking head bitten off. I don't know what the fuck to do sometimes. I mean , i think I've tried everything to change my life around. I've left home twice now. I've changed groups of friends plenty of times. I've done trade school after high school, been in a band that actually played shows, found religion and lost religion only to be discovering it again. And I still.Feel. Like I'm alone. I've fought people. won fights. lost fights.been outnumbered in fights. drank myself to near death and come close to dying on drugs. I tried the military. I left the military. I had love only to find out it wasn't love at all. I've cheated and been cheated on. I don't really trust anyone. I'm only 22 but I feel like an 80 year old man. I always have . I take things to personal . I blame myself all to often for things that are completely out of my hands. I have all these fucked up relationships with fucked up people. That just fuck my life up more and more. I have oppurtunities that can be potentially life changing , but I don't know If I want to take them. Failing so much takes its toll on a person. I feel like I've been in the gutter for 4 years. I'm tired. I need to figure my life out.