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minn

Lusaka, Zambia.

Member Since 2006

Followers 16 Following 33

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Wednesday Jun 20, 2007

Jun 20, 2007
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Firstly, TWO extremely hilarious things have happened to me today. The first of which was bright and early this morning - ie 10:30am. And it involved "fire alarm maintainence" coming around my building knocking on doors and checking fire alarms, and I was interrupted...I don't even know how to politely dicuss this. It was so funny. Nevermind. I guess this is just one that stays with me.


The second hilarious thing, I just got home from work, with whole lot of things to do (a. make bed, b. make chicken tenders, c. go and pick up car registration etc. etc. etc. etc.) and I was checking my email and my homepage as many of you know, is Suicide GirlsAnd everyday I read the "news" on it, because I read the "real" news at The Beeb at work. Anyway, today I get on and see the headline on SG "Justice Scalia Wants to Throw a Man Hump on Jack Bauer". Now, as we all know, who have been in my company in the past semester + any news article containing the words "Jack Bauer" and "hump" is of extensive interest to me. (note, for everyone who isn't in the loop on this one, Jack Bauer is the amazing "super agent" on my pet show, 24. And he's played by Kiefer Sutherland and thus is super hot.) ANYWAY -

The article was about Supreme Justice Scalia talking about Jack as if he was real to illustrate elements of torture in the military etc. etc. Because as we know, Mr. Bauer is notorious for just being crazy brutal - like I can't even really explain it, hence I will deliver this brief video illustration - I warn you don't watch this if you're going to be really sensitive - it's the scene from the premier of 24 season six, in which Jack gets out of a sticky situation via killing a dude by biting out his throat - it's amazing, you should watch it.

I mean this was a life and death situation - those are "bad guys" and he does go on to kill, I think all of them, later in the season, by never quite as unbelievbly as that. Anyway, as I'm sure anyone can tell, by a few things Jack Bauer is a totally unrealistic character, 24 is totally unrealistic show.
Firstly - no man is that amazing. It's simply not possible. He's entirely too awesome, the extent of internal conflict and emotion, combined with extremely dangerous, brutal situations would make any real person explode.
Secondly - Did you hear that music on that clip? - that's so pretend, it's a big ol' banner, "HELLO, WELCOME TO PRETEND LAND" Yeah, it's totally accepted that 24 is art, (my opinion) and yes, it contains social commentary etc. but as the soundtrack illustrates, don't use 24 for real purposes, unless you're a woman who's dating a guy who cries, an emo kid, and you want exemplify what totally macho-awesome dudes are like in times of emotional stress - they are like Jack Bauer.

ANYWAY, the point of the matter is I can understand how Justice Scalia would find Jack this awesome because, hey, obviously, but it speaks pretty poorly for the state of the world, where the reference to torture is a pretend character on a over-dramatic fox show. And as the editorial on SG mentioned, it did sound like Scalia "wanted" Jack, again, obv. I believe the direct quote I liked best was


"Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, however, seems to think Jack Bauer is real. And he kind of has a man crush on Jack. Based on what happened in Canada this week, I think we can conclude that Scalia wants to be inside Jack Bauer, or more probably, wants Jack to be inside him, thrusting like an animal."

Also, I think I'm going to include a more tender Jack clip, but as it transpires - there aren't any. At least not without really stupid music in the background. Because actually, one of the major occupations of 24 fans is the creation of incredibly dorky videos inwhich the recreate the narrative via clips and music - I've watched a lot of these they are hilarious. So, I've included one, with Jack and Audrey, which conveys some of the point and was selected for it's good soundtrack (Less Than Jake) and the fact that it's short ish.



Though note, Audrey - I don't think she'll be back next season - she's kind of in a vegetative state...opps. Look how sad I am...

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