minn

Is there something innately wrong with me that I don't really get homesick? I occaisonally miss Lusaka - but not often. I miss hanging out with Rachel, Put and Bwalya - but that's being 'friendsick' and I sometimes miss my parents - but that's 'parentsick' and sometimes even the dogs - but I think it's 'petsickness'. I know it's probably a case where all these things - your parents, your friends, your pets make up homesickness. No. I don't think so, they could just as easily be anywhere - Anchorage, Milan, Lusaka, it doesn't matter. I don't miss that house, or my old room, I think about it, but I don't miss it. Also, I don't know how much I even miss my parents - there's no point they're so far away.

But don't get me wrong, I have an amazing little family - an excellent childhood - mom and pop weissenstein easily hit my 'top five people on earth' list. And not because they're my folks, but because they are genuinely cool people [note: not great, my dad didn't save any lives or invent anything, or good, my parents are critical and anti-social, but they are cool] I aspire to be like them, self-sufficient, financially secure, wise - mentally, pyschologically, emotionally, funny, they have great taste - and they don't give a fuck what anyone thinks.

My childhood was awesome, I was allowed to express myself, and be myself, and do what I cared about - and I got to do my best, and have encouraging people around me. They let me be a child and a grown up, and learn about the world. I got to travel all over the world, and see amazing things, I got a first-rate private education. I had/have wonderful friends. But I don't miss it, I don't miss being a child. I like being on my own. I like being an adult. I don't know, I just see all this homesickness, this very powerful desire for home, for family, and I don't feel it very much. Maybe it's because I have no siblings - that might be it. I am the child, and I'm not missing anything - I complete the family. I feel like kind of guilty - not wanting it. I love them, but I don't miss them. Maybe it's because I couldn't have it if I wanted it. I couldn't go home if I was desperate to. I guess being able to have it, makes you want it. But not, prevents that.

I like other people's families now, I like family - I love family, but I don't think on missing it. I guess it's like a lot of things - it would be awful if I were homesick, the pain would be horrible, it would be severe, because they are so far away and I can't see them. I guess it's better this way.

Ps.
I looked amazing today. Fo' serious.