minimalism

It seems last night the copy cat suicide freaks were out in force. Not one but two people attempted to do themselves in by driving their car in front of a freight train on our main line between North Jersey and Philadelphia last night. One got the job done properly while the other just destroyed his truck and will be in a mental hospital for a while. You might think it's callus of me to word it the way I just did. Sincerely, I'm sorry that they feel they have nothing left to live for, but isn't somehow possible to find an alternative method of topping themselves than by fucking with the livelihood and mental state of the brothers I work with day in and day out. Yes, we all know it's part of the job that we'll be witness to at least one fatality during our career, but no one, not one single person I work with wants to end someone else's life for them. And what gives these people the right to put that on our conscious for the rest of our lives. Remembering that moment in vivid detail. Reliving it over and over again. Wondering what could have been done to prevent it.

As someone who has witnessed a pretty nasty railroading accident I can rightfully say you never get over it no matter how hard you try. I've gone to counseling, I've spoken with co-workers who have gone through similar tradgedies, but the best thing I have done so far is joined a group of employees who go to accident scenes to respond to the needs of the train crew involved. We de-stress the situation by separating them from the bosses, the police, all the people trying to get them to give statements, take drug tests, and generally harass them while they are still in a state of shock. We attempt to get them 10-15 minutes of quiet time, bring them coffee, and some food, and make sure they know that they are not alone in a time of need. The folks who did this for me have no idea the tremendous impact it had on my mind that night. Then again, maybe they do. Maybe they know it all too well. Railroading is not a job, it's a lifestyle. It takes a special breed to do it.

If you read this remember it. Please don't ever go around a lowered gate at a rail crossing. You won't win if it's a tie. Stop, relax, and enjoy watching the train pass. Be a kid again for just a moment and count the cars. It'll make you smile, I promise.