minimalism

So I just found out last night that what I though was true is... I have an internet stalker. Don't believe me? Well then listen, and listen close, because it might be the last time you hear from me.

In November I took a trip up to Boston for a group dinner before the SG Cabaret that Bailey put together. I got to the restaurant and sitting at our table is this strangely cute redheaded girl with glasses. I didn't think much about it at the time, "Oh, she must be someone that someone else knows." All well and good. That is until the next day when I got to the Cabaret in Wocester and she was there as well. Wocester, my dear friends is almost an hour west of Boston. Coincidence, I thought, but shrugged it off. Well just last week I stopped off at a local strip club in NJ that I go to every now and again. Get this, she's there too. This is when things began to get oddly suspicious to me. I figured it's best not to let on that I know there's something up, and when I left I was pretty sure that she didn't see me sneak out. At least that's how I remember it. So, as if that wasn't enough, the very next night I went to the big SGNY Holiday Party in Brooklyn. Guess who's there also? I have to admit at this point I was starting to get a bit worried. I eluded her most of the night, but I know with the utmost certainty that she had her eyes glued to me the entire time I was there. Even some of my close friends noticed.

Now up to this point aside from being a bit unnerved, I was still pretty sure that I was safe from any kind of danger. That was until last night. Bored, I decided to take a trip down to Philadelphia to visit with some friends and go out drinking in a few of our favorite dive bars. I wasn't there 20 minutes, before you know who shows up at the front door. Trying to act fast I attempted to tell the bouncer to not let her in. That she's underage or something, but before I could she had slipped right past him, the sly girl.

Now you might say that this all sounds a bit far fetched, but I assure you it's entirely true. And I know that if you ask around some people might tell you that she 'performed' at the cabaret. I don't recall that at all and I was stone cold sober that entire night. If you investigate further your sources might be inclined to tell you that this mysterious woman claims that I 'invited' her to stay at my house the night of the alleged strip club incident and after the following evening's festivities. Don't you think if I asked someone to stay at my house I would know it? C'mon now. None of that even begins to explain how she knew that I would be in an out of the way dive bar in the City of Brotherly Love on some random Saturday night.

And yes, what does that all have to do with the internet anyway? I did start off by saying I am being electronically hounded. Well after last night's incident in Philly I could bear it no more, so I hired a private investigator to track down this woman's where abouts, and to find out what her interest is in me. As it turns out she's a member of this site, lives kinda in Delaware, and claims to be an official Suicide Girl, though I've yet to see any naked pictures of her. And not only that, she recently joined, not one, but three of the regional groups that I belong to. SGNY, SGNJ, and SG Philly. Doesn't that all sound a bit fishy to you? It certainly does to me.

Well, let me tell you this, if I turn up missing, kidnapped, hogtied and bound somewhere, don't come looking for me, because I'll be having the time of my life!!!