mineux

Today was a day of therapy for me. Not just because i met with y therapist, but because i am acting on her advice and help. Last night i had my neighbor read my Tarot cards... and afterwords he decided it was the last time he was going to ever read for anyone again. Not only did he take his knowledge of my personality and read the cards harshly, it was all true. And it fucking sucked. Whether it was the cards, or just his brutal honesty, i felt like i had been found out, and i REALLY didnt like it. So of course, i talked to my therapist (im just going to refer to her as Jill from now on), so i talked to Jill about what he told me and she asked if it really hit home, and i started to tear up because it did.
Its amazing how talking to someone who is actually trained to help you and listen can be so... helpful. I have so far to go... so far..
Anyways, she gave me homework assignments to help me actively work thru all this outside of the office, the first was to go find out about re-enrolling in Esthetician School, which i did immediately... i start tommorow morning. Full time, im looking forward to it, as i truly love skincare and understand the science and biology behind it. Its kind of perfect for me really, science AND beauty. In order to be good, you have to have beauty and brains and i know i have that part... now i need to find the courage and the Wizard of Oz is nowhere to be found. So, im going to work on it myself.
My other 2 homework assignments are to attend an MA meeting so i can see that im not the only confused former stoner, and write a journal entry on "Who I Am Sober"... suddenly school and an MA meeting seem easy compared to that topic... and im a writer, so im wondering if i will just end up with some piece of prose or insight into who i think i am, but not who i am... sigh.. i have 7 days to do that though.

Hugs and love to any of you out there going thru tough times. Hang in there, hold on tight, and find someone you can trust with your emotions...even if your insurance has to buy you that person. Eventually we will be strong enough to lean on our friends without fear of ruining their days... seriously, i know im not the only one feeling like this right now.

QOTD
1.What is your favorite fabric?
**i love pure 850 thread count cotton... and knit chenille blankets**
2.If you could design any room of your house based on one dream theme, what would it be?
**i would have a zen room with a little stream running thru it like that Frank Gerry house ( i think it was Gerry...)**
3. Your dream pet?
**a Puma, and i would name it Murray **