Im so tired of all of this. Keeping up with everyones lives so i can be part of a world that just seems to overload my memory and drives me to ctrl/alt/del when i can handle anymore.
I have all these different clans that i know will never come together, and they are all so different i feel like im living a fragmented life that makes it so no one would ever be able to put the pieces all together to find out who i really was.
I feel so torn, stretched thin... and since my time is spent between so many different people that others cant understand why i am so tired and not down for a party or a last minute something or other.
Ive been having a terrible time sleeping, i get occasional bouts of 4 hours of sleep, but that is about it. I was awake for 3 and a half days just recently. I was so tired, but so awake that one pupil was larger than the other and wouldnt react to light. I told my psych all of this today, including my nightmares and he gave me something to knock me out at bedtime, its called Temazapam and i will see how it works tonight. It would be wonderful to take a pill at 11pm and sleep thru the night that i normally am awake during.
*sigh*
After my doctors appt. i felt a bit worse and needed some pain, so i drove over to the tat shop to pick out something to make me feel. Go figure i chose a tat that was on an erogenous zone and it felt like heaven, not the pain i was looking for. But i now have a bleeding heart with tribal thorns behind my ear leading down my neck. Its wicked. I love it....
Why do i feel so empty when i have so much? Im a hollow shell.
I have all these different clans that i know will never come together, and they are all so different i feel like im living a fragmented life that makes it so no one would ever be able to put the pieces all together to find out who i really was.
I feel so torn, stretched thin... and since my time is spent between so many different people that others cant understand why i am so tired and not down for a party or a last minute something or other.
Ive been having a terrible time sleeping, i get occasional bouts of 4 hours of sleep, but that is about it. I was awake for 3 and a half days just recently. I was so tired, but so awake that one pupil was larger than the other and wouldnt react to light. I told my psych all of this today, including my nightmares and he gave me something to knock me out at bedtime, its called Temazapam and i will see how it works tonight. It would be wonderful to take a pill at 11pm and sleep thru the night that i normally am awake during.
*sigh*
After my doctors appt. i felt a bit worse and needed some pain, so i drove over to the tat shop to pick out something to make me feel. Go figure i chose a tat that was on an erogenous zone and it felt like heaven, not the pain i was looking for. But i now have a bleeding heart with tribal thorns behind my ear leading down my neck. Its wicked. I love it....
Why do i feel so empty when i have so much? Im a hollow shell.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
"Drugs are bad, mmm'kay?"
i love YOU though. xoxo