Wednesday Feb 22, 2006

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I need to figure out how to love myself. And to love myself, then i need to figure out what i like about myself. Now this is a chasm that i find uncomfortable to stare
into. For so long i have based my self worth on what i do for others, on how much i can do for someone else. And after years of this, it has left me lost and confused within my own body. This underhanded selflessness has taken me apart leaving me purely driven by my heart.

These nights of crying and hurting myself because i cant meet the standards put forth to me by others needs to stop. It has gone on for 11 years now, and so far, the only loser has been me.

Where are my standards? Do i have standards of my own? Yes, im sure i have standards for other people in my life, but where are my own personal standards? What gets me out of bed in the morning? Me? My great life? Or is it always for someone else?

I am a work in progress, and for once, i need to progress if i would like to not drown in my own self appointed misery...

We've got a long way to go baby... a long way...

Im about to turn 26 on friday and its about damn time i add a little depth to my life. And by demand....

SPOILERS! (Click to view)



1. Seven things to do before I die:

1) see my album come out
2) go PINK
3) sail around europe, africa and the isles
4) get married to my soulmate (have to find him tho)
5) have babies
6) get a PHD in something i am passionate about
7) live at the ocean, in MY home


2. Seven Things I cannot do
1) control people around me
2) be someone else
3) rollerblade
4) hurt animals
5) blame others for my life
6) drink diet soda
7) wear a size 2

3. Seven things that attract me to where I live
1) close to Hollywood
2) close to the beaches
3) my parents
4) the music
5) the clubs
6) 20 minute drive to anywhere
7) 45 minutes to Disneyland

4. Seven things I say most often
1) Slinkster-cool
2) clutch pig
3) Fuck fuck fuckkity fuck
4) OUCH
5) meow miao mew
6) i love you
7) ooohhhhh


5. Seven books (or series) that I love
1) harry potter
2) dangerous Angels
3) most of the Left Behind Series
4) Good Omens
5) Where the Sidewalk Ends
6) the Devil Wears Prada
7) Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy


6. Seven movies/dvds I watch over and over again (or would if I had time)
1) Elizabethtown
2) Tank Girl
3) Independence Day
4) Buffy 1-7
5) Harry Potter 1
6) Orange County
7) Red Dwarf

7. Seven people I want to join in, too:
1) Mercie
2) e4drht
3) American_Exile
4) Joanne
5) nosaintxxx
6) ummm and
7) YOU!

VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
yuriel:
mad love

hon you know you're strong. i really can't tell you anything you don't already know in spades anyways <3

oh yeah and you rock REOWR! miao!!

(i know you love felines wink )

EL SUICIDO LOCO
sickboyedd:
I wpuldn't follow a captain I didn't think was as beautiful, interesting and special as you, and I'm kinda doing 1.6 so I dont just say that on demand. Happy Birthday, may all your days sailing with us be great xxx

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