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minerva1

Member Since 2003

Followers 193 Following 44

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Wednesday Feb 16, 2005

Feb 16, 2005
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I love techno.

I wish I could dance. When I was a kid I'd put on music and dance around my room like an idiot. I'd dance whenever I heard music. I didn't care. What was rythym? What was coordination? What was grace? Skill? Balance? I didn't know, it never occured to me to ask, all I knew was that the music moved me, and I moved. The humiliations of my adolescence changed me. The caste system of middle and high school kept me in my place with a iron wall around my core. I stood against the wall at dances. I shut the door of my room and listened to music while laying motionless on my bed. I lost the joy, the complete and utter freedom of letting carry my body. It's gone. Embarassment clings to my limbs like lead weights, and they move jerkily, tensely, forced. Alcohol can let down any of my inhibitions except this. The music pulses and flows and I crave motion, but I can already feel the rush of blood to my face and the tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. And so I stand still.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
sliggy:
Liquid courage definately helps me out in that department, and I actually like to dance. My worst experience, dancing-wise, was in 7th grade at my school dance. The girl I really wanted to be with kept trying to get me to dance with some other girl that liked me. It was heartbreaking cause I wanted to dance with her, and awkward cause she tried to pawn me off on someone else. Bad times. I like to have fun when I dance, and I am sure at times I look like an idiot. That's why booze helps, cause then I just don't care. wink
Feb 16, 2005
presence:
i used to dance like crazy when i was younger too..around family..alone in my room to prince...now i only will for a second as a joke....i dont know why i get embarrased but i do...im glad im not alone..but it sucks! ...alcohol does not help me at all either
Feb 17, 2005

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