Thanks everyone who left me notes... I may as well spill my guts ... I miss my friends from high school. I miss my ex-boyfriend so much. We stayed friends after breaking up, then recently he just stopped answering my phone calls. and then I found out he's dating someone else. It was like a punch in the face. And my only friend is impossible to talk to about anything serious or meaningful. I miss the times when my best friend and I would talk on the phone till 3am. Or when my boyfriend and I would sit in the car and talk while we watched the rain fall.
And in this fucked up paradox, I don't want to make new friends. I don't want to date, I don't want to fall in love. I push everyone away. I know why; it's because the hurt isn't worth it. Having your friend stab you in the back isn't worth it. Having your heart broken into a million pieces isn't worth it.
I don't know what to do.
But thanks for listening. I needed that.
And in this fucked up paradox, I don't want to make new friends. I don't want to date, I don't want to fall in love. I push everyone away. I know why; it's because the hurt isn't worth it. Having your friend stab you in the back isn't worth it. Having your heart broken into a million pieces isn't worth it.
I don't know what to do.
But thanks for listening. I needed that.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
omnky:
what is a lotus?
anger_frog:
I'm pretty in the same place, except I had to find out that the ex was dating someone else before she bothered to formally break things off with me. I tried a few times to make new friends and date, but in the end I keep coming to the conclusion that its not what I really want. I don't want more people to screw me over, and I don't want another person to get close and screw me over for another petty whim. I want to find something worth driving for that doesn't invovle others in my life; I want something completely my own that no one can take away.