mindlessme

You have an idealistic nature when it comes to romance, Jason. Sometimes you set a partner up on a pedestal, imagining her to be perfect, when she is just as flawed as you are! Try not to be disappointed today if some of your romantic notions are clouded by more practical concerns. Relationships sometimes take work, and you could be going through a time when...
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and if at first you don't succeed, try try again...and i have...and now i will try my best. i am so determined and so wanting this that i'm going to let out EVERYTHING.

wish me luck

I can't help this. I keep having dreams about it all week and i can't do anything about it. I miss her so much and i can tell even more how much i do in my dreams. First it was a bad dream that was just magnifying my situation with her and then i woke up and realized that it wasn't AS bad as my...
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her razor sharp mouth
slit me with her words
pressure build in my aching skull
angerviolence
clenched fists
everythings ruined
i broke it all
like a mirror showing my reflection
that i hate so fucking much
it's the reflections fault
YOU'RE to blame
stop your crying
get over this NOW
stop looking at HER
stop thinking of HER
your making yourself crazy
your making yourself...
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that's all i needed to hear.

it's time to move on.

i need a fresh start.

What am i thinking? Do i really want to go back? The toughts are there every single day (single in more ways than one) Every waking moment there isn't a time i dont' think about her. Why am i putting myself thru this torture? This is rediculous, i feel like i can't even move on. This is the first time i've ever had this happen...i...
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I'm back from the Einsturzende Neubauten tour. Man that was the longest 28 days ever. I hope i get the opportunity to tour again, it was definatly an experience i wouldn't mind going thru again. Now i'm off to unpack the travel gear and adjust to being home again....ahhh...home cooked food and my own bed and shower....so nice...

I'm going on tour!!! Yes you heard right! I had to double check myself to see if it was true and it is! I'll be going with my very good friend Derek. We'll be doing merch for Einsturzende Neubauten for the following dates....

4/23/04 Washington, DC 9:30 Club
4/24/04 New York, NY Irving Plaza
4/25/04 Boston, MA Paradise Rock Club
4/29/04 Detroit, MI Majestic Theatre...
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Three cheers for being jobless for 4 months!!! ........sigh.......

if only i could get out of this rut that i'm stuck in called life.

Wow, so much has happend in the past month. Some good, and some fucking horrible. I'll mention the good, no one wants to hear that i got fired from HT...oops, too late. FUCK THAT EVIL CORPORATION.
Now that's off my chest...i got to enjoy 3 days of Mindless Self Indulgence. I do have to say thank god i got to go because it was such...
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