mindless

It's Tuesday morning, and I just did what I thought I would never do. I got an email from my longtime best friend Leisa, and it was yet another email of her bitching about her lousy life of always working and paying bills, and of how she wants life to be better. So I just said screw it, I'm going to write her and tell her how I feel finally, because it is eating me up inside, and has been for a long time. So it went basically like this:
Leisa, I have to tell you this, and I know you will probably hate me, but I have to do it because it has been eating me up inside for a long time. What happened to us? It seems like all you ever do is occasionally write me to tell me how you don't like life. I used to love the time we spent together going shopping or hanging out at your place, or going out to eat. Now I never see you or even hear your voice. I was there for you when you broke up with Tony, and you wanted me around every day, and I never once said no or I was too busy. I love you to death, but I don't understand. Then you got with that guy Josh, and it just felt like I got dropped. I felt like a stop gap measure between boyfriends. I hope you don't hate me after this, but I had to get i out.
Anyway, I wrote her that, and maybe it was really stupid of me to do, because I really love her, and totally want her in my life, but I never see her anyway, so whether she talks to me anymore or not, it's not like we were the closest of friends anymore anyway. Did I screw up? Confrontation is not my strong point.