mindless

Lately I've felt like tearing off all of my skin, in the hopes that I could grow a new healing layer that hasn't been through all of the emotional wreckage and been beaten and bruised for years......I think maybe a hard outer shell, sort of like an armadillo. Ball myself up and let all of the anger and hate and backbiting and pain bounce right off....I know, I'm in "cry me a fuckin river" mode, but we all have our days, or weeks even.......sometimes I think I'm destined to be alone. I mean, things are going great with Jen, but I find myself sometimes trying to louse things up, or being mean and not even knowing why. It's weird, but sometimes I would reather just stay in bed than hang out with her, or anyone else, for that matter. Is something wrong with me? Damn. Too much thinking. My mind is like a baby's diaper, full of shit. Uh, maybe I should leave the metaphors to the professionals........