My best female friend. She is my best friend. I'll abbreviate here... well her (E) and my other best friend (J) dated. then he was a dick and she finally left him. and our other best friend (M) gave her a hickey and kissed her twice. the hickey and the first kiss were while (E)& (J) were dating, the second kiss from (m) to (E) was on valentines day. And every time (M) was drunk.
that's head games.
but it gets more interesting.
just the other night.... (E) tried kissing ME!.
we've been best friends forever and there are certain lines or whatever we never crossed.... and that night... she was doing a lot of things that I would never have thought would ever happen.
I know i need to talk to her about this.... But this is sorta mind-game-ish.
so here are the things that happened that has never happened with ME and (E) before.... (that happened couple days ago):
1) she has never been so touchy feeley with me before. we've hugged, yeah... and we've joked around... but not just sitting watching a movie and her start poking me in my ribs so much.
2) never has she touched me in anyway but high-fives, hugs, or beating me up..... this time she rubbed my head while we were in the car.
3) SHE NEARLY KISSED ME!. I kind of wanted it... but I knew i shouldn't for reasons including the whole "my best friend dated you and you're my best friend too"
4) she wrapped her arms around me and laid her head against mine (when we were in the car again)
5) she slept in my bed with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sure we've taken a few day time naps together... but nothing overnight and alone like.
now i don't know what i want.
do i want her?
do i want the ex?
do i want the girl who's just playing ridiculous mind games with me?
i dont knowwwwwww........ i need some other pretty girl to just rape me and tell me that it doesn't matter who I'm with... and maybe it'll clear my head a bit.
oh. ps. (E) gave me a copy of her Kimya Dawson CD that she had from like.. years ago.. and yeah. I like it.
think i sort of like it more because it came from her. I dunno.
Maybe she thinks you and she have reached that point in your friendship where you can do these things without it being weird?
I know how weird this all is as I've been there. Unfortunately, I can't say that I have good advice.