milky666

what a very strange weekend I've had. For starters, the clock across the road has just chimed about 25 times [it's one o'clock! ] and last night I went to a club that was on a boat and boogied until the wee hours to the beauty that is groove is in the heart and the happy mondays. oh happy days!

on friday night i plucked up the courage and took myself over to a posh place in bristol to do poi for a charity event. I have a set of blue glowing ones which look great in the dark but on this occasion a nice young staff user let me light up and become prometheus for an hour. unfortunately my wielding skills are still up for polishing and i managed to burn my wrist and singe my hair. yay to my malcoordinatedness!

yesterday i completely lost it after i discovered that our fridge and freezer aren't being delivered *again*. but i think that was only the spark of an already smoking fire. i think im more vexed about things than i realise and find house politics too much at times. for example being the one that people have in common is hard and there's one housemate that thinks im like her best friend but we really don't have anything in common. it's not that i dont care about her but she's slightly fucked in the head and i cant bear it when she seems to use me to make herself feel better. i.e. she'll try and treat me like a baby and make out that i just can't cope and that im weak so she can feel that she's coping well with her own messy life. I CAN"T STAND THAT!!!!!!!!! she even had the cheek to say once to my friends that i was vulnerable and was october's sheep thing because she couldn't deal with the fact that i get on better with october than i do her. that's fucking rich coming from her, the girl that is too frightened to know herself or be alone for 5 minutes.

sorry about that, had to get it off my chest because i can't say anything to her because...well, when i see red it's crimson and not pretty and i'll just end up saying things i shouldnt/don;t mean.

oh and she can be damn rude too, like last week on her birthday we made *such* an effort and spent lots of time and money on it and she simply said it was "crap". also, she refused to acknowledge that october and my other housemate had done anything towards it, showering the accolades purely on me. it's like *hello*, get real, people are their own people and don't belong to each other. recognise the things that people do for you and dont expect the world but be grateful for everything you get.

you know something, life can be hard sometimes but you have to be real about it. this girl has it hard but it's exacerbated by ideology and her own choices. remember, what we do and dont have may be initially down to birth but that can't be an excuse for the rest of your life. generally life is the way it is because we choose it. if you dont like it, only you have the capability to change it.

and that's that. rant well and truly over

thanks for listening folks