I feel like I need to post a blog, really explaining my gratitude for what this year has given me so far. I've always been the one person, who for my entire life so far, has had a lot of shit. I've been bullied for most of my life; in school, college, uni. I've had bad experiences (which I won't detail) but which really fucked up my life in the terms of what friends I had, jobs, education - which is all my own fault. I've had too many failed relationships to count, been used by girls and guys and had abusive relationships. And because of these things, I've had such a bad outlook on life.
However, the last 2 years have been going well for me. But, they've still not been the best. however this year alone, I cannot even express how lucky I feel. I've been given a second chance at life. I became a Suicidegirl, something I've wanted since aged 16. I'm getting out of debt as well and I've changed so much as a person - I've become the person I once was and I actually love the person I am. And on top of all of this, today I received the news that I was accepted back in to college.
4 years ago, I quit university. I did, 7 years ago, what most 16 year olds do and did a course at college that I thought I wanted and then followed that in to uni. I hated it and I really feared for my future career without a proper university education and a lack of work experience (note: I was continuously in full time education and found it hard to get work, hence the lack). But today I have been given that second chance. I have the opportunity to do something I actually like, to do something that can lead to a new university course and eventually a very interesting and yet practical job opportunity for me. something where there are so many job opportunities for me.
I have been, for those wondering, accepted on to a computer sciences course. I will learn web development, computer hardware and computer software and from this I can go on to a course that full focuses on either the hardware or software sides. I am so excited, especially knowing that I can finally make a proper future for myself and my family. Knowing that I have another chance at being financially secure and this time, I WILL do it :)
the only thing, is that everything has been going so well this year so far, that I fear something bad will happen. But, I'm taking each day as it comes and I will work my fucking ass off and do everything I can. Even if that means trying to work full time, being a student and having to find some childcare help for my son.
I'm sorry for what may not be such an interesting blog to many of you. But I really just had to post this somewhere.
I finally feel like everything is going right for me and I actually feel the happiest I have ever been <3
Peace out x
